


Dancer

by Morpheus626



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:55:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25045735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morpheus626/pseuds/Morpheus626
Summary: This is set in a Post-Golden Circle AU wherein nobody in Kingsman died (aka we still have Merlin, Roxy and JB, but we also got to meet the Statesman folks through…we’ll save that for when I eventually do my rewrite of Golden Circle lol.)For now, the point is everyone is alive, and Eggsy has a very important mission he must undertake.In booty shorts.For the greater good (and because why couldn’t Rocketman and Kingsman share wardrobes you know. Why not. There is not reason why not is the answer.)Warning, we get NSFW in this. A lot. Just. Be ready for that. Violence because spies, sex because of lots of things (emotions and other things, you’ll see when you read.) If that ain’t your cup of tea, maybe skip this one.And yes, I did title it after the Queen song.Shout out and my thanks to @bearkare on Tumblr for helping me figure out how to chop this up into chapters properly; I owe you one big time!!!A note, tagged w/the rape warning only because there is a brief mention of it in Chapter 4, no actual rape occurs within the fic otherwise, just the mention of it in a character's past.
Relationships: Gary "Eggsy" Unwin/Original Male Character(s), Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin, Roxy Morton | Lancelot/Tilde, Tequila (Kingsman)/Original Male Character(s), Tilde (Kingsman) & Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. 1

“These are…necessary?” Eggsy asked, and snapped the waistband of the golden shiny booty shorts. 

“Absolutely,” Harry replied, and handed over another stack of similarly shiny clothing. “These should get you through the rest of the mission without needing any laundry done.” 

“Are they all…” 

“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” Harry smiled. “Besides, these missions can be…fun. I quite enjoyed one I did, in the seventies, in a club where you could-” 

“Oh, you could tell me about that later,” Eggsy interrupted, shoving the stack of multicolored booty shorts into his bag. “A reward for finishing the mission.” 

“It was a swingers club, is what it was.” 

“Aaah, you said it anyway,” Eggsy sighed. “And the tops are all-” 

“Mesh,” Harry finished. “But there are also sweatshirts, in case you get cold.” 

“Booty shorts and mesh shirts in December, how could I possibly get cold,” Eggsy murmured. “Sweatpants?” 

“One pair that I could find, so be careful,” Harry answered, and handed over a pair of Juicy Couture sweats that read ‘Bitch’ in sparkling fake jewels on the back. 

“…you found these?” 

“I did.” 

“So who previously used these here at Kingsman? Just…wondering. Or was that you, at the club? I presume you still go, since you’re keen to talk about it-” 

Harry cut him off with the toss of a pair of heels. 

“Male strippers don’t have to wear these, I thought?” 

“Some do, some don’t,” Harry shrugged. “Most anyone can wear most anything. Give them a try. We’ve got platforms as well, if you’d prefer.” 

“I would, I think. Might break an ankle either way,” Eggsy sighed, and handed back the heels in exchange for a pair of golden, shimmering, chunky platforms. “Shoes for after work?” 

An extra pair of Adidas were the last thing he tossed into his bag for the mission, before taking a final look at himself in the mirror. 

“I don’t know if I can do this.” 

“Why not? You look fantastic, and the club we need you to infiltrate doesn’t even require you to strip every night. Hell, intel has revealed that some of the men that work there don’t even strip, they just work the floor and go about sitting in laps and whatnot. You could stick to that, whatever, so long as you find it.”

Harry’s confident words echoed as he stepped out and headed down the street to the waiting Kingsman cab. ‘It’ was a chemical formula, that the biochemical weapons dealing club owner was threatening to use to create what he called ‘the ultimate weapon.’ Whether that was really true they’d find out after, when they could see the formula and what it actually contained. 

But that all came down to him.

The club was a four hour flight away, in Ibiza. Even on the Kingsman private plane, he was restless, plucking at the elastic edges of the shorts, pacing in the platforms to try and practice balancing in them. 

“Where’s all this coming from?” Merlin asked from the pilot’s seat. “All I can hear is those damned shoes; on a regular plane, you know I’d have to make you sit down, right?” 

“It’s nothing,” Eggsy muttered, even though it was indeed something. Tilde was less than pleased he’d been called in for a mission, and unhappier still that involved him working in a strip club. Never mind that they’d spent weeks arguing over how he could continue to complete his princely duties while staying out of the limelight and skipping public events. She wanted him to be able to show his face and be at her side, but couldn’t understand what it would mean. 

Giving up Kingsman. Giving up the thing that had helped him become the man she loved. 

Or that she might still love. Maybe. He wasn’t so sure anymore. 

But he’d asked Roxy to stay with Tilde, so he could provide them both with mission updates (edited as needed to protect Tilde from the club owner and anyone he might send out should their communiques somehow be discovered) and he hoped she would see that as a sign of his love and care. 

“I don’t believe that,” Merlin sighed. “But we’re nearly there. Have you got everything?” 

‘Everything’ consisted of not just his bag of clothing, but one bag of regular make-up, eco-friendly glitter, pasties that he did not understand the point of his having, and another bag full of…’make-up.’ 

Eyeliner that could be used to essentially draw a fuse on a surface and lit on fire, perfume that was in a super-pressurized nozzle and contained a flesh eating toxin that acted as soon as it hit skin, eye shadows that if brushed on a finger and then dipped in a drink could knock out a bull elephant in a minute (what it would do to a human…well. Better not to think about that, and to use it only if absolutely necessary.) 

That, plus the regular Kingsman kit, of course, carefully hidden in among all three bags, very carefully in the case of the pistols and ammunition. 

All of it banged against his legs as he did his best to look…however he figured he was meant to look. Confident, and not like he was worried about whether or not this was a mission he could pull off, and not like he was worried he might come home to Tilde too upset to be consoled or worse. 

“You!” the man that called out to him from the club’s doorway was a fierce-looking person, literally. A tiger with open mouth was tattooed on the front his neck, down onto his chest, with blood dripping from the fangs. “You’re fucking late! You know, in my day, when they sent a new boy, they sent him on time! No fucking respect for the show anymore, none at all.” 

“I’m sorry, my flight ran late,” Eggsy tried. “But if you let me set my things down, I can get started right away, get out on the floor, serve some drinks, you know.” 

The man scoffed, and pulled him into the doorway, nearly knocking him off his platforms. “Serve some drinks, pah. You’re tonight’s main entertainment. How else is the boss supposed to know if you’re worth the investment money? After all, your agency doesn’t get paid until we see how you work.” 

He led Eggsy by the arm down a dark hall, and shoved open a door which led to a small green room. “And you should know…not many of you work out.” 

“Then I’d be headed home, I suppose,” Eggsy replied as he stepped into the room, taking in the cracking paint on the walls, the cushions with stuffing coming out of them on the couch, and the filthy mirror on the make-up table. 

The man laughed. “Home? Is that what they told you? I thought they weren’t going to lie anymore…ah well. Not my monkey, not my circus, as they say. Sure. You would be sent home, let’s say that. Just hurry the fuck up, get into something good, and when I knock, you take a left, then another left, and come out on stage. We’ll be waiting.” 

Eggsy dropped his bags carefully by the couch, and as soon as the door was closed rifled through the clothing one to find the earpiece hidden in it. 

“Merlin!” 

“Eggsy! Safe and sound then, good to know. Now, I’ll be laying low around town, got myself a little set-up so I can assist you if needed and-” 

“You can assist me by telling me why the fuck none of you warned me they’d want me to strip the first night. I literally just got here, and they want me on stage, now!” Eggsy spat. 

“Okay, alright. Keep calm,” Merlin soothed. “This isn’t like you anyway; are you sure you’re alright?” 

Eggsy sighed, and contemplated spilling his heart to Merlin now. But he couldn’t, not really. For his own sake, and for the sake of the mission. 

“Just…I’m sorry. They made it fairly clear they kill any performer who doesn’t make the cut, so I’m a bit tense, is all.” 

“…sure,” Merlin replied, and Eggsy could hear the disbelief in his voice. “We can talk later, perhaps? Just in case there would be anything else you aren’t telling me. Not that there is! But…if there were.” 

“I’d like that,” Eggsy said softly. “So, any suggestions on…” 

“The stripping? Oh Jesus, no. Could you imagine, me? Be like watching an Ent strip,” Merlin chuckled. “You’ve got this, you’ve done your research, I know you asked us not to watch you practice, but I do know you spent a good few hours in the studio space we rented for you. Just do what you’ve researched, put your heart into it, and you’ll be fine for the night, at least. From there…we’ll figure it out, alright?” 

“Okay,” Eggsy muttered, and hid the earpiece back in its spot. From the bag he pulled a purple glittery mesh tank top, and a black thong that, as far as he could tell, was held together purely with wishes and will for as little material it was made of. Over that went a pair of black velvet booty shorts, and the top-

“Oh good, I caught you before you were all done,” a younger blonde man, his make-up bright gold and glittery with eyeliner winged sharp, in a black feathered mesh robe strode in. “Your agency said they weren’t sending your whole wardrobe, so here-” 

He yanked open an apparently half-broken closet door at the side of the room that Eggsy hadn’t even noticed, to reveal a sea of bright colors and patterns on all variety of clothes. “What you have on looks fine, but he’ll want you to take off more layers than that. I’d say, this, this, and ooh! I bet you look handsome in a suit, so this as well.” 

The man tossed a black T-shirt, a pair of loose tear-away joggers, and a suit jacket and pants towards Eggsy. 

Eggsy stared. “Thanks. Do you-” 

“Oh!” the young man laughed. “Not anymore. No, I oversee. Like a manager, but better, because I don’t have to fuck the boss anymore to keep my pole and my space in the club. Well, at least I said I was done with doing that now.” 

Eggsy realized he must have made a face, because the man laughed again. 

“Oh darling, bless you. How else do you think you keep your spot? Any other club would make you pay to rent the pole, the stage, right? Well, here at El Tigre, we don’t make you do that. You get paid to be here, to do your work. But, in order to stay…” 

The man shrugged. “Life is dirty, and difficult. It could be just as bad anywhere else, so make a garden out of the mulch you’ve got, I say. I’m Evan, by the way.” 

“You aren’t from here, I take it?” 

Evan smiled. “No. I don’t think anyone who dances here is actually from Ibiza. No, the ladies and gentlemen who come in like their…imports, if you will. Even if that means us white-bread boys raised up on fish and chips, you know? And the boss has his tastes as well, and that’s the final say on it, really.” 

Eggsy nodded. “Thank you. For the clothes, and the information. I didn’t realize they’d want me to dance right away, I mean I just got off the plane and made my way over here, and-” 

Evan interrupted him with a hug. “It’s intimidating, I know. And ignore Tony, he’s an ass, but he only hurts people if ordered to. He’s loyal like that.” 

“That man with the tiger on his neck?” Eggsy tried and failed to bite back a giggle. “His name is…Tony.” 

Evan giggled right back. “He hates it, but yeah. We all call him Tony the tiger behind his back. Long as you don’t let him hear you say it, you’re safe. Now, you finish up. Oh, and match your shadow color to the color of your thong. Boss really goes for that.” 

Evan was gone with a clack of his heels and a swish of his robe, and Eggsy wished he’d have stayed. Not even to gain more intel (though it was all good and needed), but just to not be alone in the moment. 

But he managed it, and after choosing a new pair of platforms (shiny black vinyl with purple laces) he made it to the stage. 

The club was empty, except for Evan, sitting on one side of the stage. Tony was on the other. 

And at the end of the stage, dead center, was the man he needed to get close to, close enough to find and steal the chemical formula that might destroy thousands, millions, if sold to the wrong hands. The club owner, the “boss” as everyone apparently called him, Boniface Gagneux. 

He wasn’t the stereotypical ‘club owner’ at least not in the way movies would show, to Eggsy’s memory. He was sharp-looking both in handsomeness and in the way a canine poked out just a bit from his top lip as he smiled at Eggsy, as though he’d bite if he got too close. His dark hair had just a touch of grey in it at the sides, and the dark suit he wore was beautifully tailored, sprinkled with sewn in tiny rhinestones on the shoulders, so he actually sparkled under the club lighting. 

“Mr. Wyn Morris, we meet at last. I haven’t heard much about you, but-” Gagneux’s eyes traced him from top to bottom. “You look even better than your picture. Hopefully you dance as pretty as you look.” 

Eggsy bit back a comment. That wasn’t what his character, Wyn, would say, not at all. Wyn was happy to be here, and happy to please, even if Gagneux’s glances made him feel sick to his stomach. 

He simply nodded, and the music started. 

The song he didn’t know, but it was something that seemed it would have fit only in setting like this, something about ‘being wanted at seventeen.’ The beat wasn’t too fast, nor too slow, but it took him a minute to find it nonetheless, to roll his hips the way he’d seen in every video lesson he could find online. 

Even with practice, he still felt horribly out of it, and was sure he had to look ridiculous, as he tried to vamp it up, stripping off the suit jacket and tossing it to Evan, who blessedly gave him a smile. 

Gagneux’s face was an imperceptible mask now, watching him with piercing blue eyes. Was he impressed, did he hate it, was he busy worrying if he’d accidentally left the stove on? There was no way to tell. 

The suit pants were rip off just like the leggings beneath them, and those he tossed to Tony, who glared at him so sharply he almost looked for a stab wound. 

Instead, he kept on, and bemoaned that they’d chosen such a long song. Actually spacing out when to rip everything else off was difficult with music he hadn’t used before (and Tilde, upset as she was, had refused to be a practice audience to help him get it right, though he’d begged her to do it, and had thought he might find it all funny.) 

It felt too soon to shed the T-shirt as he strode on-beat further down the stage, but he did it anyway before dropping to his knees and rocking backwards on his haunches, hips gyrating the entire time. It fucking hurt, and he realized he should have used his time on the plane to stretch, not to worry. 

He leaned forward, then crawled a bit further down, locking eyes with Gagneux. Still no change in expression though, not even when he ripped off the joggers and tossed them to a happily laughing Evan, who caught them and hugged them close. Evan was the hype man he desperately needed, and he made a mental note to thank him later for the help as he dropped again to his knees at the end of the stage. 

Gagneux reached a hand forward, and plucked at the string of the thong, then raised an eyebrow at him. 

There had been no mention of that, full frontal. But everything about the damn mission had been a surprise so far, why should this be any different? 

He tossed his mesh tank top to Tony, then with a bit of effort, snapped the string of the thong, and handed it to Gagneux, who had leaned forward so close he could have pulled Eggsy off the stage. 

He half thought that might be what would happen, but instead Gagneux just held the destroyed thong tight, and raised a hand to stop the music. 

“Not bad. Go back, down the hall, and take a right.” 

Eggsy nodded, and slowly stood. “I’ll be a just a moment, to grab some clothes.” 

“No.” Gagneux said softly. “Come as you are.” 

The DJ started up another song once he was off stage, and he could hear Evan chattering to Tony. He wished he could have another moment with him, to ask what to expect now. He had an idea, but hearing it from someone who’d actually been in the moment would have been better. 

Instead, he did as he was told: down the hall, and to the right, into an office. It was elegant, all in black, a black marble desk and black velvet couch. The chair he when to sit on had a towel emblazoned with his fake name, also black, sitting on it. A blessing, he certainly wasn’t about to sit his bare ass on a chair that likely was meant for use by whoever came into Gagneux’s office day-to-day. 

The song that was playing outside filtered in just before Gagneux walked in, then shut the door. The aggressive beat was just audible through it, but Eggsy had a sinking feeling not much else would be audible to anyone listening in on the office from the outside. 

“Look at you,” Gagneux smirked, and ran a hand along Eggsy’s jawline. “Those thighs alone will earn you fans, but with the face? Forget it. You’ll have men and women coming in here begging for you.” 

He sat behind the desk, and chuckled. “That means you’re in, if you weren’t sure.” 

Eggsy laughed lightly. “Good. I’m glad to hear it. We set up a schedule now then, or?” 

Gagneux smiled. “We’ll get to that. First, I need to know you won’t be swayed by any of those offers.” 

“From patrons? No, of course not.” 

“Good. Because, as Evan may have already mentioned, when you’re working for me, you’re mine. Is that understood? Dancing, and the club, and me-those are your three priorities,” Gagneux said, holding up a finger with each word. 

“And myself?” Eggsy asked before he could stop himself. 

But Gagneux just shook his head. “I look after you. Mutual caring: you look after the club and your work and our patrons, and I look after you.” 

Eggsy could swear Gagneux had the DJ doing this on purpose, changing up the music to manipulate the moment, as a slower, but still bopping and more romantic song came on. 

“Come here,” Gagneux stood and walked to the front of the desk, in front of Eggsy. “Stand up.” 

He obeyed, and waited to shiver as Gagneux would presumably do something horrible, or god only knew what else and-

The kiss was soft. And sweet, and not at all what he was expecting. He didn’t mean to kiss back either, but it took him by such surprise, and it was just something else. 

Gagneux pressed his forehead to Eggsy’s, a hand gently holding his chin. “I’m excited to work with you. Tomorrow, starting 22:00, we’ll have you just work the floor, to get used to the place when it’s full. I close completely the days I’m getting new talent in, so what you saw out there is far from the norm. Just lap dances and drinks on the floor. We’ll let you get your sea legs before putting you back onstage, though I don’t think that will take you long. Evan will walk you to your apartment; nobody leaves the club alone is one of my rules.” 

He let go of Eggsy’s chin and moved away from him. “Have a good night, Wyn.” 

Eggsy swallowed hard, and nodded. “You as well, Mr. Gagneux.” 

“Boniface. No need for such formalities here,” Gagneux…or rather, Boniface, said, leaning back against the desk. 

Eggsy nodded again, and picked up the towel before trotting back to the green room, his head spinning, and his heart beating entirely too fast for comfort.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of Eggsy, Emotions, Booty Shorts, and Working to Save the World! A bit of a mini interlude to cut this down into chapters better, and to ease us into Chapter Three. Again, here there be NSFW things, particularly re: sex (violence will be coming later, it is a spy tale after all).

Eggsy slipped inside, shut the green room door, and his eyes as he relaxed against it. He needed to decompress, to take in all of it, most of all Boniface…

“Well then. He is handsome, isn’t he? And lovely lips, among other things.”

Evan’s voice made him jump.

“Jesus! What are you doing in here?”

“Giving you your clothes back,” Evan said, and handed over the mesh top. “I already put our pieces away in the closet for you. I was going to say let’s get you dressed and home, but it looks like you’ll need a minute to calm down.”

Eggsy knew very well what Evan was speaking of, but didn’t want to address it. The aching of his cock was very present, he didn’t need to look down to know he was hard as a rock, despite never having really swung that way before. At least, not in a way it mattered. There had been the occasional crush on a good-looking friend or two, but none of them happened to be gay or bi or pan or questioning or queer in any way, so even if he’d wanted to explore, there hadn’t been the chance. Then he’d met Tilde, and he truly did love and was attracted to her, but this-

This presented the need for some thinking. And considering. And maybe a wank once he was in the safety of his new apartment in town.

“I didn’t mean to-I mean, I’ve never, with a man. I’m not against it, don’t get me wrong, I just never got a chance to try-God, I am saying a lot of things,” Eggsy stuttered.

Evan just smiled. “I’ve got to change too, so you just sit on that towel of yours here on the couch, and…think of England, or something. No judgement, I still have my moments with him where I just-”

Evan shivered, and shed his robe, letting it drop to the floor. “Almost. I told him never again, once I accepted this new title. And he was fine with that. But some days…let me put it this way. Normally, this would be illegal and just nasty, right? Fucking your employer. But he isn’t brutish, he doesn’t demand it. He does expect it, but he won’t do anything if you tell him no; he’ll just ask again the next night. I don’t know if that’s that much better, but it could certainly be worse. And wait until you have him; he knows what he’s doing.”

“I’ve never-” Eggsy started again.

“Even so,” Evan interrupted as he gathered his robe from the floor, and continued to strip out of his club garb, and into an Adidas sweat suit. “Just let him know that, and he’ll take things slow. He’s a romantic at heart anyway, so slow fits him just fine.”

“Good,” Eggsy replied, and gave up on ‘calming down’ as he grabbed new underwear, the sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and his Adidas from his bag. It made getting dressed interesting (and made Evan giggle) but he couldn’t get Boniface’s gaze out of his mind. On the stage, it had been predatory, but in his office? Sweet and soft and warm, and he didn’t know what to do with that.

Once he had his make-up off and his things packed again, he let Evan lead the way out.

“So, turns out we’re neighbors! All the better, I’m sure Boniface told you his rule?”

“No one leaves the club alone,” Eggsy replied. “Are people around here dangerous or something?”

Evan giggled. “No! But, if you do well enough, you gain fans, and having a second person there helps keep them at bay usually. They mean well, but they can get a little overbearing. After all, they won’t say they know you from the strip club, even though everyone in the neighborhood knows that’s the case. No, you’ll be ‘an old friend that just moved to town, and they’ve missed you for so long, wouldn’t you like to catch up?’ and shit like that.”

“Doesn’t sound too bad,” Eggsy remarked, and looked around the dark streets. “Quiet now.”

Evan nodded. “Every town has something about it, you know? But I like it here. Warm enough that even the winter is mild, a good job, a nice apartment, and good people all around.”

“And friends?”

Evan nodded again, slower this time. “Yeah. I mean, most of the other dancers were my friend until I took the management position thing. Now…well. You know how it is. Even an office that isn’t like, an office, has that workplace politics bullshit. So, they’re all not talking to me really now, unless it’s work-related.”

“Well, I think you’re a great manager,” Eggsy said softly. “And, I’d gather a good friend too. I mean, we’ve just met, but, I don’t know. You helped me, and you probably didn’t have to. Thank you for that, by the way. The clothes, and hyping me up when I was out there on the stage. It made it all easier.”

Evan pulled him into a hug as they walked on. “Thank you. It makes me feel better, hearing that. I don’t want you to feel like you have to say it just because I’m like, the mother hen of the dancers now-”

“Not at all,” Eggsy interrupted, and he meant it. “I truly just think you seem like a nice person, who I’d like to get to know.”

Evan kissed his cheek, and smiled. “Okay. But just friends. I know he told you, and you probably don’t even see me that way, but just to clarify…I mean, he won’t let you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, while you work for him. He wants your mind on the work, the club, him, at all times. He’s a workaholic, but to a good end result. So it’s worth it, I promise.”

Eggsy nodded, and followed Evan up the stairs of a white building, and into a hall that led finally to their doors.

“See, I’m 206, and you’re 207!” Evan chirped, and handed Eggsy a key. “Keep that safe, they don’t let us make copies. Now, I’ve got to head in and get some beauty rest, but I’ll be up for a bit yet. So if you have any questions, concerns, or if you need to talk some more about you-know-who and his effect on you, just knock on my door.”

“Thank you,” Eggsy replied, and waited for Evan to go inside before opening up the door to his own apartment.

The inside was fairly bare, but it had the basics: a couch, a TV, fridge, stove, a not terrible looking mattress on the floor of the one bedroom, and a bathroom that seemed to be in working order.

He dropped his bags in the bedroom, but not before taking the earpiece back out and turning it on. “Merlin? You awake?”

“Hm? Oh, yes. Just waiting for your call, actually. Watching some soap opera thing or something, I’m not really sure what the whole plot line is but I’m invested now,” Merlin replied absentmindedly.

“Good. It’s all gone well, so far. He likes me, and I start with the floor work tomorrow night. Er, later today, I guess,” Eggsy said, catching the time on the clock as he sat on the living room couch.

“Glad to hear it. Keep the earpiece in your bag, and keep that somewhere safe, just in case you need my help,” Merlin said. “Now, did you need to talk at all? I know earlier, you were a bit panicked, so if you need-”

“It’s a lot,” Eggsy sighed heavily. “And half of it, you really shouldn’t have to hear. I don’t know who I should tell, if anyone.”

“But you need to talk it out to someone,” Merlin said. “And I’m offering myself up for it. I know you can’t hear it, but I just clicked the TV off. Go on, spill.”

“I don’t know where to start,” Eggsy muttered. “Tilde is pissed at me for this mission for just…every reason. I have Roxy staying with her, to keep her safe and to show her, well, that I love her. That I want her looked after while I’m gone. But she wouldn’t even talk to me before I left for the shop, and it’s been like this ever since the mission first came up. She wanted someone else to go, not me.”

“Is it just the stripping she doesn’t like?”

“I think so,” Eggsy answered. “But…I don’t know how else to say this, so I’m just going to. But I’ve occasionally fancied a mate here or there, right, whatever, never…played about though, I met Tilde and that was that. This club owner, Boniface, expects us to fuck him to keep our slot as a dancer, and I thought that would end that mission right here, but no, he kissed me tonight and-”

His breath caught in this throat. “I’m still thinking about it, and I’m still half-fucking hard from it. I’m not saying it means I don’t love Tilde or find her unattractive, I just-”

“You weren’t expecting it,” Merlin interrupted softly. “You thought any feelings like that were pushed away because you have Tilde. And now you’ve been fighting with her, and someone’s treating you romantically and kindly and it riled you up, and you don’t know what to do about it.”

“Yeah.”

Merlin cleared his throat, and sighed. “It might just be as simple as you like more than just girls, but it sounds like you already know that and have known it for awhile. And that doesn’t have to affect your marriage, and I know you know that, but I’m going to say it anyway, because I think you want to hear it. You’re worried that if things go sour with Tilde-”

“Things changed,” Eggsy interrupted, desperately. He’d been dying to talk to someone, anyone about it all for months, and now that the flow had started he couldn’t stop it. “I mean, we’re still great friends, fantastic friends. We have fun together. But…sex just sort of stopped. She claimed she just wasn’t feeling it, and I guess I haven’t been either, and it isn’t like that should break us up, there’s more to relationship than that. But if she’s lying to protect my feelings, and she really just isn’t into me as anything other than a friend…”

He shrugged. “She deserves to be with someone who can give her everything. Friendship, sex, and who can be a proper prince too. She wants so badly for me to be able to go out and be at events with her, but if I do that, I couldn’t do this. And I can’t just sit in a palace, Merlin. I love this, and I can’t ever see giving it up. So I can’t be seen, I can’t go out to events where someone could somehow recognize me or I could be made a target, and she gets it but at the same time…she doesn’t, if that makes any sense.”

He couldn’t see Merlin, but he could envision the sage and slow nod he did whenever he was thinking through a problem. “It does. So, let’s say you do divorce after this mission. Let’s say worst case scenario: the strip club thing is a deal-breaker for her along with everything else you’ve just mentioned. What do you feel about that?”

“I’d miss her,” Eggsy murmured. “I’d still want to be her friend, to hang out with her and do our usual things. Our movie nights, and board game nights and all that domestic shit that we both make fun of but we both love. But if she’d be happier…if it would mean not arguing with her…it would hurt, I can’t say it wouldn’t. But I wouldn’t stop her. I’d just ask that. To still be her friend.”

“Do you think you will sleep with him? Boniface?”

Eggsy found himself shrugging again, though he knew the answer. “I have to, I think, in order to keep working there. To get close to him, to get the formula and any other intel I can.”

“Okay,” Merlin said slowly. “Do you want to? Like, say he told you that you wouldn’t necessarily have to, but he offered it anyway. Just a fun fling, even.”

Eggsy opened his mouth, but nothing came out at first. Then, a flood.

“I don’t know I mean…if Tilde was asking for a divorce at that point, then probably yes. I mean, I couldn’t cheat on her like that, even though she knows what these missions sometimes entail, but she really doesn’t like it and who can blame her? Anyone else would react the same, I’m sure, but if her and I were…done, I guess, back to being just friends who also failed a marriage, Jesus Christ how terrible does that sound, then yeah.”

He sighed, and rubbed at his eyes. “Oh my god. Yeah. I’d say yes. He’s gorgeous, Merlin, if I could only show you a picture.”

“He’s got a picture of himself on the club website,” Merlin said. “I can see what you mean. I mean, I’ve got my type, you know that. But it’d be hard to kick him out of bed, eh? Very pretty, with the lips and the eyes like that. Are they really that blue?”

Eggsy nodded, then remembered Merlin couldn’t see him. “They are. His lips are so soft; oh my god what am I saying. This isn’t fair to Tilde; I should just call her now and…I don’t know. What would I even say?”

“For now, I think you just need to sleep,” Merlin replied gently. “You’ll do what you have to for the mission, Tilde knows that as well as any of us. If after, there are…more feelings and things to deal with, you’ll deal with them. You and Tilde will talk, and figure out what you both want and need, and go from there. Okay?”

“Okay,” Eggsy said, but it felt anything like okay. He felt something like light-headed over it all, not sick but off-kilter. It was so much at once.

“Alright,” Merlin said. “Get some sleep, and we’ll talk tomorrow after your shift, unless you need me sooner. Sleep well.”

“You too.”

He went to change into something else, then realized their wardrobe had been so low on things appropriate for the mission, that he hadn’t found anything to wear for pajamas. He’d completely forgotten about it, in fact.

So he checked the mattress for bed bugs (clean, thankfully) then stripped, and flopped onto it naked before setting an alarm on his phone for later in the day. He tried to will himself to sleep, to think of anything but what was running through his head.

The last argument he’d had with Tilde before she’d stopped talking to him completely.

The moment onstage when he’d first caught Boniface’s eyes.

The feeling of Boniface’s lips on his and the way his hand had touched his jaw.

The last one was too much, and he could have screamed at himself for getting hard again. It wasn’t that it was for another man, but that it was for a villain of the world who happened to kiss like an angel, that he had a wife at home who maybe didn’t want to be his wife anymore, and this certainly wouldn’t help convince her that they should stay together.

The lube in his bag was not meant for this, it was meant for any situation but this. And he felt bad about using it, but more about what he was thinking about while he got himself off.

Boniface, in that gorgeously cut suit, but with his cock out and Eggsy on his knees in front of him. Mind, he’d never sucked cock before, but in his head Boniface was kind about it, telling him what to do, praising him for every motion. A hand in his hair, holding tight, but not so tight as to hurt. That same hand on his ass when he stood back up, kissing Boniface hard, the other reaching for his cock and stroking ever so gently and-

He was glad he’d brought the towel home with him. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to, but he also hadn’t really checked for sure how many he had in the apartment, so it was handy to have now.

He cleaned the cum off of his stomach while his chest was still heaving. As good as it had felt, he didn’t want to think about it anymore.

Sleep came easy then, and he hated that it did.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Three, let’s go! 
> 
> Vital events including: Shopping! Lap Dances! Smut! And maybe more??

His alarm blared from his phone, and he got up happy for a chance to shower and eat. He’d been told that everything put in the apartment for him wouldn’t be fancy or much, but that was fine. A warmish shower with a decent towel to dry off with, and a bowl of corn flakes was better than nothing.

He had more than a good few hours until he had to be at the club, and he used it to wander the shops, to find more than the BITCH emblazoned sweatpants. A lot of it was too expensive to buy on the allotment given to him by Kingsman, but there were a few things: a pair of black sweatpants free of any rhinestones, a few tank tops of the non-mesh variety in multiple colors, a pair of black skinny jeans, a pair of blue skinny jeans, and the loudest patterned suit jacket he’d ever seen. He figured Evan would love it though, and maybe Boniface as well.

Back at home, he settled in. Clothes in the closet, the towel from the club hand washed in the bathroom sink and left to dry on the counter, and his ‘work bag’ rearranged:

Pistols and ammo still hidden carefully, as well as the ear piece (thank goodness for the magic of the hidden pockets and sections Kingsman-made bags had)

All the mesh shirts, booty shorts, thongs, and G-strings refolded

The BITCH sweatpants in it as well (those would be his ‘heading home’ gear, he’d decided) and one of the sweatshirts

The multiple pairs of platforms shoved in haphazardly, because there was simply no nice way to get them in the bag with everything else.

By the time he’d done all that, there were still a couple of hours to wait. So he put together his outfit for the night.

A black mesh top, a dark blue G-string and booty shorts, and a pair of light blue platforms. Nothing overly showy, but he wanted to blend it as much as he could for the night.

Evan, however, thought differently once they got to the club. “Is that what you’re wearing tonight?”

They were in the same green room, it now bore a handwritten sign with his fake name on it, designating it properly his. He hadn’t realized it the day before, but all the other doors he’d barely been able to see as they passed them were also green rooms for the other dancers. Very few had to share, it seemed.

“Yeah. Thought I’d keep it simple for tonight,” Eggsy replied, and turned around in it. “How do I look?”

“Not ready for tonight, and I mean that as kindly as I can,” Evan replied. “Can I see what else you brought?”

Eggsy reached into his bag, and dropped some of the contents onto the couch.

“Hm,” Evan moved fast, picking up and rejecting items of clothing in a heartbeat. “This, not this, this one, and these. You’ve already got gold in your makeup, so that can stay.”

The black mesh top was safe, but he replaced the blue G-string with a shimmery golden thong, and a pair of golden booty shorts that were thin enough to nearly be see-through, and Evan pulled out the same gold platforms he’d worn the day before.

“Better?”

“Much,” Evan said. “Boniface has his favorite colors, looks, you’ll find out soon enough. But in the meantime, let me help you grease the wheels a bit. After all, sounds like you truly need it, if you know what I’m saying.”

Eggsy shook his head.

“Those apartment walls are thin,” Evan smiled. “But no worries, you’ll hear me as well, now that I can date again. And it was sweet, in a way. Moaning out his name like that…”

The blush that took over his face was utterly too warm, and he hoped it might just melt him right into the floor as Evan giggled.

“Don’t be embarrassed! Really, it’s fine. But, to make things a little more bearable for you, I figure we get you laid tonight. And he’ll be watching you already, but in this? He won’t be able to take his eyes off of you,” Evan said. “Ready?”

He wasn’t entirely sure he was, but he nodded, and then they were out.

The club truly was busy during normal hours, and he could barely get through the crowd to linger around the patrons sitting on the various chairs and couches that littered the club floor.

At first, it seemed like no one was even looking at him, or noticed him. Until a hand reached up and slipped a fiver into the waistband of his shorts.

“Who are you?” the man still had his hand at Eggsy’s waist. “Never seen you here before, and I would remember you for sure. I can’t recall a name, or a face, but I can always remember an ass, and yours is gorgeous.”

He took a breath, and slipped into his character. “Thank you! Not as gorgeous as you though.”

“Oh they have taught you well already,” the man laughed. “Here, sit on my lap and there’s more in it for you.”

Eggsy sat, and ignored the man’s creeping hand at the back of his shorts. “You’re here often then?”

The man nodded. “Marc. And you?”

“Wyn. I just started, this is my first night, actually.”

“You’re doing wonderfully,” Marc assured him, and handed him another fiver. “Go on, tuck it in your waistband. The tourists that wander in will give you more then, the more bills they see on you already. They want the best of the best, to make their experience the fullest it can be, you know. So seeing that is like pollen for bees.”

“I hadn’t figured tourists would stop in here much,” Eggsy said, eager to keep the conversation going. Maybe this man didn’t actually give a rat’s ass about anything more than his ass, but it meant he could sit and not worry about trying to fight his way through the crowd. Plus, who knew what else he might know and say.

“They do, but they don’t stick around long. They stay long enough to spend money, get grossly drunk, and then stumble vomiting back to their hotels,” Marc said. “Disgraceful, but who doesn’t like to get fucked up while on vacation, right? So I can give them that, I suppose.”

“Yeah,” Eggsy said. “As long as it doesn’t kill the mood, right?”

“Exactly,” Marc said, and shoved a fifty into Eggsy’s hand. “Now, I’ve taken up enough of your time. Go out there and kill ‘em.”

He struggled to hide his reluctance as he carefully put the fifty under his waistband, and got up and back into the crowd.

He was only out for a minute though before another hand pulled him close.

“Hey,” the man, one of the aforementioned tourists judging by the state of inebriation, nearly slopped his drink on Eggsy as he pulled him into his lap. “Dance on me like you’d fuck me. Go on, show me. Make it good.”

The tourists on the couch with the man jeered, but they were his only audience. The rest of the crowd were preoccupied with the music, the dancers on stage, or one of the dancers wandering the floor. “Body Language” by Queen (finally, a song he recognized) was blaring, and he could do something with that, even as the man groped and pawed at him.

It helped to think of it as not the drunken man, but Boniface, though he dreaded to admit it. He wouldn’t know exactly if what he was doing was actually good in bed, but he did his closest approximation of it on the man’s lap, moving his hips to the beat against the man’s cock, very evidently hard in his jeans, a hand holding onto the back of the couch before he leaned back.

The man’s tongue on his chest made him jump, and knocked him out of his groove. He feared the worst in terms of a lost client, but Tony wasn’t running over for him.

“You don’t touch the fucking dancers like that!” Tony was steaming, motioning for Eggsy to get off of the man’s lap. “You don’t gotta fucking stand for that, get off of him, kid. We got fucking rules here, on the poster on the wall, all over the damn club. If you can’t follow them, you can’t stay!”

The man and his group protested, but Eggsy watched as Tony and a few other bouncers gathered to drag them out of the club. That seemed to be then end of it, until Tony returned with a twenty euro note.

“That’s the biggest note he had in his wallet, the prick,” Tony muttered. “You earned it though, you were doing well until he fucked up.”

Eggsy took the note and turned to try again in the crowd, but Boniface was right there as he turned. He didn’t say a word, just took Eggsy’s hand and half-dragged him through the crowd until they were through a door and into one of the back halls.

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t know he was going to do that, and Tony told him he had to go, but if you want him back, I can go apologi-”

Boniface cut him off with a kiss, hard enough to hurt. “He did exactly what he’s supposed to. That fucker shouldn’t have had his tongue anywhere near you. Especially with the show you were giving him. He should be fucking grateful anyone would move like that on someone like him.”

Eggsy had a million things he wanted to say, but couldn’t seem to bring about the words for any of them, so he kissed Boniface instead. It was odd at first, and he was afraid it might be too bold, but Boniface kissed him back with no hesitance.

“I have a place. Attached to the club,” Boniface panted as they finally broke free of each other. “You’ll still get your pay for tonight, no worries.”

He took Boniface’s hand, and tried to ponder how to go about this, so as not to fuck any of it up. What would Boniface expect was the real question, but Evan had said to just be honest with him…

The ‘place’ was a small house on the same bit of land as the club, with an outdoor path at the back of the club that led to it. Inside, it was just as nice as Boniface’s office, more velvet, but in brighter colors. The man did seem to have a thing for gold and black, it seemed.

There wasn’t much time to dedicate to taking in the rooms though, as he was much more preoccupied with Boniface’s lips and hands as he was led through the house to the bedroom.

Boniface detached from him long enough to start stripping off his suit, and Eggsy took his chance.

“I want this, I want to say that first. But…I don’t know how else to say it. I’ve never gotten a chance to, experiment, if you will. I don’t want to mess anything up here, so-”

Boniface smiled and sat on the bed, patting the spot beside him for Eggsy.

He sat, and melted as Boniface kissed him so sweetly and softly it could have made him weep.

“I wondered. I didn’t want to ask outright, but I sort of figured. I don’t mind slow,” Boniface said. “We’ll try some things, see what you’re comfortable with, what you want to try as time goes on. How about that? And anything you don’t like or don’t want, you say no, and we don’t do it again, yes?”

Eggsy nodded.

“Good,” Boniface said, and gestured to the foot of the bed. “How about you give me a show before you join me in here, hm?”

It felt strange without music, but he took it slow, stripping off his mesh top, pulling at the tearaway portion of the shorts until they came off, then quickly undoing the ties of his platforms so he could kick them off before climbing into the bed.

He couldn’t keep quiet, no matter how hard he tried. Every lingering touch on his hips and ass, Boniface’s fingers pulling at his thong until Eggsy finally moved quickly to take it off, all left him moaning and clinging to Boniface as if…well. As if he was lonely, and wanting. Which he figured, he was, even if he hated that he was.

Boniface stopped them for a moment to grab a bottle of lube from the bedside table. “Just hands for tonight, okay? We have time to do more later, I promise.”

If his own hand felt good, Boniface’s was even better, slick with lube and somehow moving just as he wanted it, though he couldn’t manage to do more than moan and mumble and kiss.

Which made him all the more sure he wasn’t doing his best with Boniface’s cock, but he was trying to focus on reciprocating. And Boniface didn’t seem to have any objections, his head dipped against Eggsy’s shoulder, kissing and nipping at his neck, moaning just as loudly and muttering Eggsy’s fake name.

He had meant to hold back, but it was impossible. It was all too much, especially once Boniface’s other hand reached around to grasp the hair at the back of his neck, pulling it just ever so gently, but just enough to tip him over the edge.

His worries about how he was doing for Boniface disappeared as he followed right after him, biting down on Eggsy’s shoulder as he came. 

For a moment, it was heaven. Boniface smiling at him, kissing him softly while they both came back down from their highs, legs intertwined and hands tracing patterns over each other’s skin. 

Then, the door shook as if it might fall or break open. 

“Mr. Gagneux, we have a problem!” Another one of the bouncers, panicked, finally burst the door open. 

Eggsy tried to cover himself, but the bouncer was apparently used to the scene in front of him and didn’t so much as blink, addressing only Boniface. 

“What now?” Boniface sighed. “If that American is back, tell him we’ll call the police unless he goes, and he won’t be seeing Wyn again at all, that’s for sure.” 

“No,” the bouncer said. “Another…client. He’s here for the formula, but conveniently has brought no payment, just guns. They’re holding the whole club hostage.”


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We’re getting into the spy bit of things now! Violence and a bit of what Boniface’s other business is like, and how it effects the club. More concerning: how will it affect Eggsy and the mission, if things go sour now? And can Eggsy really fall for someone like Boniface, and not have that all go wrong considering the mission? 
> 
> Read on to find out!
> 
> Also, backstory for Boniface time! Which means huge ass TW for violence, rape mention, and death. Boniface has had a rough time, putting it mildly.

Boniface’s hands twisted into fists as he moved away from Eggsy and stood, haphazardly tossing his suit pants and shirt back on. “Wyn, you stay here, stay safe. I’ll be back-” 

“No,” Eggsy said before he could think to stop himself. “I mean, I want to help, if I can. My dad uh-” 

He rooted through his brain for a backstory that wouldn’t blow his cover, but would be plausible enough to allow him to come with. “He was military. Wanted me to go into it as well, so he taught me everything he could, legally and illegally. I’ve never had any need to use any of it, but…” 

Boniface stared hard at him, but nodded. “Come on then. You can handle a gun?” 

“I can.” 

Boniface strode across the room and opened a drawer of the dresser against the wall. “Pick something, and be ready. This could get bloody. Not the first time, won’t be the last…we’ll have to pay off the damned patrons again not to talk to the police.” 

Eggsy rushed to put together his shorts again, tossing his mesh shirt back on, ignoring the cum drying on his stomach. “It’ll be okay.” 

He couldn’t even say why he’d said it, it just came naturally. Boniface seemed to like it though. 

“Thank you. For your positivity, and your trust in me. Now,” Boniface handed him a shotgun, a pistol in his own hand. “Let’s get going before they kill someone.” 

The club was dead silent as they strode in, too late Eggsy realized he’d forgotten to put on his platforms again in their rush. 

But it didn’t seem it would matter. Only three henchmen, with semi-automatic weapons, but no visible extra ammo on them. 

The older man who had to be leading them was garish in appearance, with a white linen suit and light blue accents all over it. It was hard to read, but they appeared to be the word ‘baby.’ “Hello, Bonnie.” 

“I’ve asked you not to call me that,” Boniface said curtly. “What do want, Barrett? Because as far as I’m concerned, you’ve either come here to pay me for the formula, or you’ve come here because you have a death wish that you’d like me and mine to fulfill for you.” 

Boniface strode closer to Barrett and grinned like a shark, his canines glinting under the club lights. “And we would be happy to oblige.” 

That seemed as much a cue as anything, and he walked up beside Boniface, brandishing his shotgun. “I think Mr. Gagneux has made your options clear enough. What’ll it be then?” 

Barrett’s eyes sparked, and he smiled. “Oh who is this? Your new toy? He is a pretty one.” 

Barrett’s face was up in his before he could step back, the man’s breath rank. “Be careful he doesn’t ruin those delightful features of yours, darling. He’s a biter, and after he’s chewed up his toys, not much tends to remain.” 

“I bite too,” Eggsy spat. “Think I’ll be just fine. Unless you’d like a demonstration?” 

“Like a little angry chihuahua,” Barrett smirked as he stood straight again. “Has he had you already? Hopefully you performed well, or you might be tossed out before your natural expiry, love. Another habit of his.” 

Barrett batted his lashes at Boniface. “Never throw out your own trash though, do you, Bonnie? Not one to get your hands dirty, otherwise you’d use the damn formula yourself.” 

“I’m not interested in dealing out death like that,” Boniface replied, his glare icy cold. 

“That is hilarious!” Barrett shouted, and motioned for the patrons and dancers, frozen crouching on the floor, holding each other on the couches, to laugh with him. “It isn’t that simple, and you know it. You still have blood on your hands, once someone uses the formula. If you really weren’t interested in death, you’d never have made it to begin with.” 

Boniface sighed, and looked down. “Let the patrons and dancers go. Except for Wyn, he stays with me. Then we can talk some more. Like proper men, without guns at the ready.” 

“Fine,” Barrett smiled sugary sweet. “Your bouncers will pay them all off at the door not to go to the police as usual, I assume? You hear that, everyone? You’re getting paid to come to a strip club today, what an interesting thing to have happen to you! Aren’t you ever so lucky?” 

The smile dropped. “So get the fuck out!” 

The patrons and other dancers fled towards the bouncers at the front door as Barrett’s shout echoed through the silent club. Once they were all out except for Eggsy, Evan, and Tony, the stand off finally broke. 

Barrett sat on the nearest couch, and motioned to some chairs across from it. “Go on. You and your boy, sit.” 

Eggsy followed Boniface as he sat, and looked over quickly to Evan, who looked fairly calm. Clearly, this wasn’t any new happening for him or for Tony, who looked almost bored. 

“I don’t see why I should have to pay you for something you don’t even really want to have invented,” Barrett said. “Just give it to me, and then all you have to worry about is sleeping with your guilt at night when I use it in a weapon that will kill millions. Might even kill you, and wouldn’t that just wrap it all up in a neat package for you?” 

“The money isn’t for me,” Boniface replied. “And you know that; I’ve told every potential buyer what it’s for-” 

Barrett rolled his eyes. “Right. Your ‘Home for At-Risk Boys.’ I know you don’t like them that young, so at least you aren’t that disgusting, but you can’t tell me you wouldn’t poach them for your club as soon as they turn eighteen. A case of fresh meat, that can’t turn you down after you’d spend years of money on their care, right?” 

“Absolutely not,” Boniface said, his teeth gritted. “The club would go to Evan and Tony to run. I’d be done with this business, and focus on the philanthropy, like I wish-” 

“Oh. My. God!” Barrett faked a gag, and rolled his eyes again at Eggsy. “This old shit again. Has he told you this story yet? How his parents died, and no one could take him in or would take him in, because he was a nasty little shit, so he sold himself all across the streets of Europe until he ended up here and made something of himself?” 

Barrett scoffed. “Well. ‘Something’. Maybe not a something your parents could be proud of, but-” 

“Are you here to pay me for it and get it and go, or be the fucking purity police?!” Boniface shouted, standing up so fast his chair fell backwards out from under him. “As if you haven’t done worse. I run a strip club, yes, but I abide by all the laws regarding it. Yes, I’ve slept with employees, but with their consent and mine. I don’t employ anyone underage, and no actual sex happens here among my patrons and my staff.” 

Boniface’s pistol had been loose in his hand, but it wasn’t now as he pointed it straight at Barrett. “Unlike you, you fucking scum. If you’re so interested in making sure everyone here knows the full story, why not tell them how I worked for you when I was only fourteen, and you sold me day in, day out, until my ass fucking bled.” 

Eggsy tamped down his reaction, even as he wanted to stand up and smack Barrett across the skull with the end of his shotgun. 

Barrett only shrugged. “I never said I was the purity police. Sure, Wyn, is it? I don’t check ages on the boys in my employ. I give them a roof to return to at night, and they give me a cut of what they make letting people fuck them senseless throughout the day. They know the deal though; I’m no father figure. They get the roof only. Food, protection, anything else…they’re on the hook for that. Personal responsibility is a virtue, you see.” 

Eggsy’s hand twitched to shoot, though he knew he ought not to unless Boniface said. But it was extremely difficult to resist the urge. 

Boniface lowered his pistol, and pointed it towards the front door. “Take your goons, and get out of my fucking club. Don’t come back unless you have money to pay for the formula.” 

Barrett stood, and brushed imaginary dust from his suit. “See what happens if you don’t learn that virtue, Wyn? You end up a sad, lonely man, dealing death and bloodying your hands, and for what? For a stupid dream that won’t come true? For some naive wish based on mommy and daddy issues? Try a fucking therapist, Bonnie, and stay out of my fucking backyard. You’re only going to get yourself hurt.” 

Barrett motioned for his guards, and they trotted after him and out the front door without a word. 

Eggsy stood slowly, setting his shotgun on the now-empty couch, and reached for the pistol Boniface was still white-knuckling. 

He took it carefully from his hand, and set it beside the shotgun, then took Boniface’s hand in his. 

He expected anger, but instead Boniface dropped into his shoulder, weeping. 

“Okay, alright,” he fussed as he tried to navigate them to the couch as Boniface crumpled. 

Evan, ever the mother hen, raced over and moved the guns so they could sit, his face a mask of worry. 

“I’ll make sure they’re gone,” Tony said gruffly. “You lot stay in here.” 

Evan moved the guns to the floor, then sat in the remaining chair opposite them, trading worried glances with Eggsy. 

“It’s okay,” Eggsy tried, rubbing Boniface’s back gently. “Do you want to talk about it, I mean, I’m just stepping into all this, but-” 

Boniface sighed shakily, and moved up off of Eggsy’s shoulder, rubbing at his eyes. “Oh god, you are. And you’ve done so well. Where did we find this one, and how did we get so lucky?” 

He blinked away more tears, then turned to face Eggsy better. The blueness of his eyes was as bright as Eggsy figured it could get, standing out against the redness from his crying. 

“Everything he told you is true. I lost my parents to a car wreck, of all things, when I was thirteen. I was already struggling some, just the usual kids things, puberty and bullying and whatever. But I acted a right ass because of it, running away constantly, skipping school, screaming at my parents as if it was their fault-” 

Boniface’s voice cracked. “And I shouldn’t have been. Had I known they’d be gone…I’d never have said any of what I said to them. I didn’t mean any of it, I was just an angry scared kid. But it meant none of our relatives wanted to deal with me, so before they could put me into the system or force me into someone’s house, I ran. I didn’t intend on selling myself, but…it worked. People thought I was pretty, and they liked that, and that was almost like them liking me.” 

He sighed, and shook his head. “They didn’t really like me, of course. I’d be an idiot to believe that. But I could pretend, for the nights I had a bed to sleep in, using their money to keep my belly full and wear decent clothes. Even got a night in a hostel every now and again, so I could shower. And I’m not telling you all of this as a pity party, so you’ll pretend what I’m doing now is somehow justified. It isn’t, and I know that.” 

Eggsy nodded. “And Barrett?” 

“I was fourteen when I met Barrett,” Boniface replied. “It was my birthday, in fact. Third of April. I thought he was a proper brothel owner or something, that’s how he made it seem. Then he dragged me to the shit stain of a building, left empty except for camp beds and a few bathrooms that barely ever worked right. I tried to run, and he-” 

Boniface’s face dropped into his hands, and he curled into himself on the couch, his fancy dress shoes getting scuffed as he moved. 

“I think we understand what he did,” Evan said softly. “And it was wrong. I know I’ve told you that before, but I’ll remind you a hundred times over, and then a hundred more. You didn’t do anything wrong, and it wasn’t your fault, that he…” 

Evan looked to Eggsy, and mouthed the word ‘rape.’ 

Eggsy nodded, and wrapped an arm gently around Boniface as best he could. “I’m so sorry. That isn’t saying nearly enough, but-” 

“It’s okay,” Boniface shuddered as he moved again to sit properly, his feet back on the floor, tears dripping down his face. “What can you say about it? It happened, and from there I was too scared to leave him. I worked for him until I was sixteen. I skipped meals, let my clothes get threadbare, did whatever I could to save money so I could get away. Wasn’t like I could go to the police; my luck they’d somehow have managed to get me back to Scotland and I’d have been stuck with a family member who didn’t care if I lived or died.” 

Eggsy nodded. He’d wondered about the slight accent Boniface had, that explained it right there.

“So, I ran as soon as I figured I had enough to work with, and I ended up here by the time I was eighteen. I inherited this club from the previous owner, who took me in, taught me to focus on running a successful aboveboard business. However…he had other pursuits. And I inherited those as well.” 

Evan stood and went towards the bar, but motioned for Boniface to keep talking. 

“A lab in Switzerland, hidden away, working on biochemical weapons and formulas for them. I never wanted that, I begged him to give it to someone else, or get rid of it. But he told me-” 

Boniface paused to take the glass of whiskey Evan handed him. “That you need assured income, and that as long as you aren’t the one using the weapons, it isn’t as bad a thing to be doing. But he was wrong, and I knew it, and I still took it over. I never should have.” 

“If you could get out of it,” Eggsy said. “Somehow. Would you?” 

Boniface nodded. “I’m only selling this stupid formula to try and do just that. It’s…what it can do, is pure evil. I’ll never be able to reconcile selling it to someone and watching it be used; I’ll burn in hell for that. But it would give me more than enough money to fund the home I want to start. The home that I wish there had been for me to go to, when I was young. Not stuck in the government system completely, but following all laws, of course. A safe place to grow up, have decent schooling, and be taken care of.” 

“You’re a good man,” Eggsy heard himself murmur, before he was even aware of what he was doing. “I want to help you achieve that, if I can.” 

Boniface nodded, and downed the rest of his drink. “Thank you. I’m not a good man, unfortunately. Not for what I’m going to do with this formula. Doesn’t matter if I sell it to Barrett or anyone else. They’ll kill thousands, maybe millions, and I’ll know it was all my fault.” 

“Maybe there’s another way out there,” Eggsy said carefully. “Maybe we just have to find it.” 

“I’d like that,” Boniface replied. “I don’t see how there could be, but if there was, I’d happily go down that avenue.” 

“Why don’t you and Wyn go on to your apartment?” Evan interjected as he took the glass from Boniface. “I’m sure you wouldn’t mind spending the night, would you Wyn?” 

“I’d be happy to, if you’ll have me,” Eggsy said. “I can just go grab my things from my room, and then we could go?” 

Boniface’s lips were truly just the softest thing in the world, he thought, as they kissed him slowly. 

“I’ll be waiting right here,” Boniface replied, and Eggsy could feel him watching as he walked quickly off to get his things. 

Maybe this mission could be solved easier than he thought. If Boniface was as good a man as he seemed, it looked like that might be the case.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We had a whirlwind of a last chapter, but we can’t breathe easy just yet! Hold on tight folks, nothing is ever as easily solved as we (or Eggsy) might hope lol. And there’s still a lot of work ahead for Eggsy and crew.

“Freddie Mercury used to own this apartment,” Boniface said as they stepped inside. “At least, that’s what the realtor claimed. Not the only reason I got it, but a nice thought, isn’t it? To be staying somewhere he might have, when he vacationed out here?” 

Eggsy nodded. “I’d like to think it’s true. Pretty cool, all around.” 

It was legitimately cool, still velvet on the drapes and furniture, but all yellow and light blues and greens rather than the harsher gold and black of Boniface’s office and home near the club. A warm, airy sort of place to come home to. 

Boniface’s eyes were still red, but he had stopped crying, and he smiled as he showed Eggsy around the apartment. 

“Go on and set your things in the room, then maybe we can sit and have a drink? Try and relax a bit after all that nonsense,” Boniface said, then scoffed. “Fucking Barrett.” 

“Yeah,” Eggsy replied. “Can I use the restroom first, just quick?” 

“Oh goodness, of course,” Boniface said. “I don’t blame you, that…situation has left me feeling a bit unsettled too. Luckily, we have two bathrooms here. There’s one just down this hall, you take that one, and we’ll meet back in the living room here, yes?” 

Eggsy nodded, and moved as quickly as he dared to the bathroom, keeping his bag with him, only rooting the earpiece out of it until he’d shoved hand towels under the doorway to hopefully keep Boniface from hearing anything. 

Even so, he made sure to whisper. “Merlin. He isn’t at all what we think, there’s so much I have to tell you. I’m going to type up a report when I get back to my apartment, okay, but for now…I think I can get him to work with us.” 

“Why are you whispering?” Merlin asked. “Are you…at his?” 

Eggsy sighed softly, and nodded out his frustration. “Yes, I am. He…look, it’s too much to tell you now. Just trust me on this. And I’m almost one hundred percent certain I can convince him to let us help him get rid of the formula, rather than selling it. And in the process, Kingsman can help fund some charitable work Boniface has been desperate to do! It’s a win all the way around!” 

Merlin was silent, then sighed. “Okay. But you have to tell me more of what’s going on as soon as you’re able, do you hear me?” 

“I will, I promise,” Eggsy replied. “I’ve got to go now, he’ll be waiting for me.” 

“Are you safe? There, I mean,” Merlin asked. “If you need back-up, I’m always nearby.” 

“I’m safe,” Eggsy said, and he knew it was true. Boniface might be many things, but he wasn’t a villain. He was just a hurting man, trying to find a way out of where he was stuck.

Eggsy knew how that felt. Even if he wasn’t falling hard and fast for the man, he’d still have to help him, because he knew how it was to be in that spot. 

“Talk to you later, Merlin.” 

“Very well.” 

He replaced his earpiece into its hiding place in the bag, used the restroom quickly, then washed his hands and moved the hand towels back to their appropriate shelf. He stopped for a moment and studied his stomach, still stained with his and Boniface’s cum. He grabbed a hand towel back, and cleaned his stomach off, then dropped the hand towel into the labeled hamper near the sink. 

He dropped his bag into Boniface’s bedroom, then went back out to the living room. 

Boniface was sat there, a glass of wine in his hand, and another sitting empty on the coffee table by the bottle of white wine, waiting for Eggsy. A pair of light yellow sweats and a sweatshirt were on the couch as well, with a pair of lavender boxer briefs set on top of them. 

“For you, to keep if you’d like. I figured you might want to be in something more comfortable than your club clothes. I always try to have things on hand for employees, just in case.” 

Eggsy picked the clothing up, and smiled. “Thank you. Not that I hate the shorts or anything, I just get cold.” 

Boniface laughed, and his eyes absolutely sparkled. “Understandable. Kick off your shoes and change, get comfortable. You’ve got the next few days off, per me, for helping me out like that tonight.” 

“Wasn’t anything big,” Eggsy said as he took off the platforms, a different pair than the ones that were still in the bedroom of Boniface’s house near the club. He’d have to get those later, he figured. “Finally got a chance to use those skills, you know? Might have made my dad proud.” 

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” 

Eggsy’s heart dropped, but he hid it as best he could. “He is. Is it that obvious?” 

Boniface shrugged. “Maybe it’s a thing among those of us who’ve lost parents. I could just tell. How, if you’re comfortable saying…” 

“Military operation gone wrong,” Eggsy replied. “My mum fell apart once he was gone. I was a mess for the longest time, you wouldn’t have believed it. Stealing cars and shit. Was fun though, that. At least until you get caught.” 

That wasn’t the exact truth, but it was close enough, and if this went well, he could tell Boniface the full truth later. 

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Boniface said softly. “Of your father, and of who your mother was. That can’t have been easy to deal with, growing up.” 

“Been easier if my step-dad wasn’t a right abusive prick,” Eggsy scowled as he continued to undress. “But it’s in the past now. And I’m much better off than I was then. A better person, too.” 

Boniface studied him with gentle eyes. “I’m sure you were always a good person. Just takes time and growing up to reveal it.” 

“How old are you anyway, if you don’t mind my asking?” Eggsy asked as he finished changing and settled on the couch by Boniface. 

“29,” Boniface replied. “But I feel a lot older, sometimes, silly as that might sound.” 

“Doesn’t sound silly at all,” Eggsy said. “I’m 28, but…” 

“Life ages us faster than we deserve sometimes,” Boniface murmured. 

Eggsy nodded. “It does. Speaking of life…you said, if there was another way out, other than selling the formula, you’d take it.” 

Boniface finished his wine, and nodded. “In a heartbeat. Especially if it meant finding a way to get rid of the lab too. But how else will I fund the home?” 

He took a deep breath. He was about to purposefully blow his cover, and he had to hope like hell he was right about this.

Or he might not survive it. 

“I know of a way.” 

Boniface frowned, but his eyes were bright. “How?” 

“This is hard for me to say,” Eggsy started, and he twisted the edge of the sweatshirt in his hands out of nerves. “I’m. Not who you think I am. But it isn’t bad, I promise!” 

Boniface looked shocked, but nodded. “Okay. Who are you then, Wyn?” 

“My name is Gary Unwin, but I go by Eggsy,” Eggsy answered. “I’m an agent with a spy organization called Kingsman. I was sent here to either steal the formula, or otherwise ensure it wasn’t sold to anyone who could use it. I didn’t intend…” 

‘on falling in love with you’, Eggsy finished in his head before continuing. 

“…This mission has turned into something entirely different than I thought it would be, but I’m glad for it. Because at Kingsman, we can help you. We can get more agents out here, help dismantle the lab, destroy the formula and all research for it, and fund your home for at risk boys.” 

Boniface had tears in his eyes again. “You aren’t lying, are you?” 

Eggsy shook his head. “This is real, I promise I wouldn’t lie to you; unless it’s for the job, I try not to lie to people I love.” 

The last bit came out before he could stop it, and he bit his tongue. 

“That…I’m sorry. We’re just getting to know each other, and here I am, and god I’m babbling now and-” 

Boniface’s hand on his stopped him. “I love you too. I know, it feels too early to say, but…I can’t explain it. But I do love you. And I know you love me too and that feels so good I can’t fully tell you how wonderful it is. But I need proof, of the rest. Do you have anything you can show me, to prove this is as real as I want it to be?” 

“Do I ever!” Eggsy smiled, and pressed a kiss to Boniface’s cheek before dashing back to the bedroom for his bag. 

He ran back to the living room, and yanked the earpiece from its hiding place. “Merlin, can you hear us? I’ve got Boniface on with me, told him everything!” 

“Hello, Mr. Gagneux,” Merlin replied. “I take it my agent has just blown his cover to see if you would like to accept our help in getting rid of that pesky world-destroying formula?” 

“He has,” Boniface said. “But I’m so glad he did. Sir, this is-it’s everything I could have ever dreamed of. I can end this madness without anyone getting hurt.” 

“Long as Barrett doesn’t come back,” Eggsy remarked. “But I think we scared him away.” 

“Barrett?” Merlin asked. “Not Barrett Palmer, you don’t mean?” 

“One and the same,” Boniface said. “You know of him?” 

“Do I know of him? The bastard has nearly killed some of our best agents!” Merlin thundered. 

“Merlin, hold on,” Eggsy said. “What is this about? I mean, yeah, he held the club hostage today to try and get the formula, but we scared him off. I’ve never heard of him until today.” 

“Because I hoped you never would,” Merlin said brusquely. “He’s a bogeyman, a nightmare on two legs. A pedophile, murderer, trafficker of drugs and sex and anything else he can pay off the local PD and every other agency under the sun to ignore. He’s got webs all over Europe and into the Americas, he’s is scum, but he is some of the richest and most influential of the scum. It means he’s nearly impossible to catch, and to beat.” 

“Okay, but like I said,” Eggsy scoffed. “He got told not to come back unless he was prepared to pay for the formula, and he made it clear he wasn’t interested in that, so we made it clear it wasn’t up for grabs.” 

“Eggsy,” Merlin scolded. “When has something like that ever stopped a man like Barrett? People like that…he doesn’t care, and you’re in danger, all of you. We need to move, fast. Mr. Gagneux, the club will need to be shut down. Construction, water leak, whatever story you have to manufacture, do it, but close the club. That’s your patrons and the people in town as safe as we can manage for right now.” 

“Fine enough,” Boniface said. “Then what?” 

“Then I, and whatever other agents I can scrounge up, probably just Galahad and Tequila for now, Roxy is still looking after Tilde for you, Eggsy, and-” 

“Tilde?” Boniface asked, and frowned. 

There was a pause, then Merlin sighed. 

“Eggsy…have you not explained things?” 

“Hadn’t really had a chance,” Eggsy murmured. “Was going to.” 

“Do it now,” Merlin said softly. “Or I will. There’s no room for secrets, especially in times like these.” 

“You’re married,” Boniface whispered. “I might have guessed.” 

“Yes, but we-it-it’s not been working out and we were probably-I mean I don’t know, but-” Eggsy fought for a word to get grounding on, but everything was sand in his mouth.

“Can I assist?” Merlin asked. “Roxy had meant to call you anyway, on Tilde’s behalf, because Tilde is quite upset with herself when she doesn’t need to be. It’ll all work out, frankly, she just doesn’t know it yet.” 

“What on earth are you on about?” Eggsy asked. 

“Ah. Yes, well, Roxy and Tilde revealed, or rather, came to me as if I’m some Agony Aunt, and told me that they’ve been sleeping together since before you left. All those ‘girls’ weekends?’ Yeah. They’re both absolutely ashamed and upset with themselves, thinking you’ll be upset beyond belief-” 

“And you’re here fucking me,” Boniface interrupted. “…did you both know you were each gay when you got married? Or bi, or pan, or however you identify?” 

“No,” Eggsy said slowly. “We did not. But maybe we should have waited on that, as it happens, and then we might have found out and not bothered with the wedding at all.” 

“I did think they were rushing into it,” Merlin muttered. “Didn’t want to say anything, or be rude, but young love forgets to take its time sometimes, you know? And now look where it’s landed us.” 

“So, all we really have to do is come out to each other?” Eggsy asked. “And figure out the divorce proceedings, I guess. I presume that’s her plan?” 

Merlin sighed so deeply it sounded his lungs might deflate. “She’s been debating it over ice cream and movies with me for five weekends in a row now. I’ve put on at least a good few inches as a result, I’m sure.” 

“Merlin.” 

“Yes, sorry, sorry. Just been a lot, you know. Both of you, going through it, and here I am just…I love you both, but I’ll need a mini-break after this, let’s just say that, hm? But first, to saving relationships and the world,” Merlin said. “I’ll arrange for a phone call between you and Tilde, on this earpiece, so the line can’t be hacked. In an hour, maybe?” 

“That’d be fine,” Eggsy replied. “I think I can prepare by then.” 

“We have wine,” Boniface whispered, but Merlin apparently heard him crystal clear. 

“Oh good. That’ll help. I mean, once it’s done, you both can get on with it, you know? Still be good friends, hell, go on double dates once all this is over, you just have to do this one final difficult thing.” 

“And save the world,” Eggsy reminded him.

“…and that, yes. Now, speaking of, here’s the game plan: Mr. Gagneux, tomorrow, you announce the closing of the club. That should bring Mr. Palmer out of hiding, to try and find you or just show some muscle by breaking into the club, if he thinks that’s where the formula is. Where is it, by the way?” 

“At the lab in Switzerland,” Boniface replied. “I didn’t want it to be able to be found out if it was sent via email or whatever, so whoever bought it would have to pick up a copy of the research paperwork and everything like that at the lab.” 

“Switzerland?” Merlin groaned. “I don’t have enough agents for this. But that’s fine, it’s fine, we can pull this off. I’ll send Agent Tequila to you, to keep an eye on the club. Galahad and uh…Galahad, Jr., aka Eggsy here will need to go to Switzerland and be protection until we can shut down the lab, and ensure that no one working there has copies of the formula they might try and sell.” 

“Sounds easy enough,” Eggsy said. “Which means it really isn’t, right?” 

“Right,” Merlin muttered, and he sounded exhausted. “I mean…some of it depends on Palmer. If he doesn’t come out of hiding like we expect to flaunt about and try and steal the formula outright, then it might be easier. Tequila keeps an eye on the club, you and Galahad go to Switzerland and shut down the lab, once that’s done-” 

“Evan,” Boniface interrupted. “I’d want him to have the club, once this is all over. I trust him and Tony to run it well, to keep the dancers safe.” 

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Merlin said. “Get all of this done first, and after if we can assure Barrett and no one else will be coming after the club in revenge once they learn the formula is gone, then we can talk about who keeps it and if it reopens. And Eggsy, I still want that write-up you mentioned earlier, any details you haven’t told me now, get them in it. We need all the information you have if we’re to even try and do this right.” 

“Right,” Eggsy nodded. “Tomorrow then?” 

“Tomorrow,” Merlin said. “And you’ll have Tilde on the line in an hour exactly, so be ready.” 

“I will be,” Eggsy said, and disconnected the call, then rubbed at his face with his hands. 

Boniface handed Eggsy the empty wine glass. “Here. Not to get drunk on, mind, we certainly can’t do that now. But a bit of liquid courage.” 

“I shouldn’t even need it,” Eggsy muttered as he poured himself some of the wine, sweet in scent and taste. “I mean, it should be easy. Should be. Should take a weight off of both of us, in fact.” 

“Maybe it will be,” Boniface said. “You can’t know until you do it, and you both owe that to each other. Especially since I’d imagine you both want each other to be happy, yes?” 

“Of course,” Eggsy replied. “All I want is for her to be safe and happy and healthy. She’s a wonderful person…deserves the world, and everything she wants. I just can’t give that too her. Maybe Roxy can, I suppose. If she’s willing to maybe give up the field, just work behind the scenes like Merlin.” 

He reached for the bottle again as he drained his glass, but Boniface’s hand stopped him. 

“I need to tell you something,” he said softly. “Since we’re sharing secrets, getting everything out in the open.” 

“Okay,” Eggsy said slowly, and moved his hand from the bottle. “What is it?” 

“Boniface Gagneux isn’t my real name,” Boniface muttered. “I made it up to protect myself in case anyone should ever come looking for me, not that they would, but…insurance. Just in case. No one knows that, not even Evan or Tony.” 

“I mean this with all the respect in the world,” Eggsy said. “But no shit, that isn’t your real name.” 

Boniface raised a brow at him.

“You’re Scottish, with maybe just a slighter accent now, but very definitely Scottish, yet you have the Frenchest name I’ve ever heard. If you were looking to keep people off of your trail, that’s the way to do it, but I sort of figured it had to be a chosen name for whatever reason, not your actual name.” 

Boniface broke down into giggles. “God, it really is a bit much, isn’t it?” 

Eggsy shrugged. “I’m sure there’s worse in the world. It seems like a fancy club owner’s name though, I’ve got to give you that.” 

He joined in the laughter then as Boniface nearly cackled. 

“It feels so good to finally tell someone. To finally have a way out of all this,” Boniface said. “I figured I’d be stuck with all of this forever. I wouldn’t mind being stuck in Ibiza forever, of course. Not sure anyone could say no to that.” 

“We could come back and visit,” Eggsy said. “So long as it’s safe for you, of course. But you still haven’t told me your actual name yet.” 

“Ainsley. Ainsley Dunn. Which isn’t much better, maybe. Always been told I look like a Thomas,” Boniface, or rather, Ainsley, said, rubbing at the sides of his face. “What do you think?” 

If he had to describe how he felt it in the moment, the closest he could get to it was how he had felt at first with Tilde. Before the marriage, before the incompatibilities had started to show up, when they were still having fun and not worrying about anything else. The difference here, was he was learning everything about the man at once, and he’d have to tell him the same. More importantly, he wanted to, was eager to. He’d had that only once or twice with Tilde, even as he introduced her to his friends and met with them. But it never had gone beyond that, to talking about his past, only ever looking forward to his future and ‘princely duties’ that he couldn’t, and admittedly wouldn’t, complete. His heart swelled in his chest and it took a moment to find his voice again.

“I think Ainsley fits you well. A gorgeous name for a gorgeous man.” 

Ainsley blushed, and the color reminded him of a particular sort of rose the palace gardeners planted. He ought to find some and buy them for Ainsley, was the mental note he made. 

“You’re much too sweet,” Ainsley giggled.

“I’ll give you a cavity.” 

“And I welcome it,” Ainsley replied, gesturing for Eggsy to move closer to him.

“Even if that means some pain?” Eggsy asked as he snuggled close to him. 

“All relationships have pain, even if it’s just the occasional stupid conversation over things that don’t matter,” Ainsley said. “I’ve not gotten to experience that much, but I’ve seen it with others, and the sweetness always outweighs those little pains. So long as it’s never anything bigger, anything deal-breaking…root canal-causing, shall we say.” 

Eggsy nodded. “How did I let it get that way with Tilde?” 

“You still love her as a friend, yes?” 

Eggsy nodded again. “Always.” 

“Maybe you just needed more time to determine the sort of relationship you actually both wanted and needed. Sometimes, we don’t know we need that until it’s too late. Not a big deal, but still something to be dealt with or, to keep with the metaphor…root canal time.” 

Time passed faster than he wanted as he stayed at Ainsley’s side, resting and watching the gorgeous view from the living room window, their conversation dropped, simply sitting in the comfort of being close. 

Then, the ear piece buzzed. 

“Take the bedroom,” Ainsley murmured, and hugged him gently. “Remember, you’re both doing this for each other, hard as it feels, so you can be your happiest, like you both want. I’ll be waiting here for you.” 

Eggsy picked up the ear piece, and headed for the bedroom. Maybe it would be like a band-aid, quick and easy.

He could only hope.


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Eggsy to dance in more than one way, as the plot thickens and things go even more haywire. But our boy is up for it, or at least, he’d better be, for the sake of everyone he loves and the world. 
> 
> Anything less, and who can say what might happen?
> 
> A shorter chapter here, because the next one means even more action, and as such is probably going to be a bit long. Consider this a brief interlude of sorts, before we jump into the next pool!

“Okay, let me talk before you start in on me,” Tilde’s voice was panicked. “And I don’t blame you, okay? I get it. But just, hear me out, I never-” 

“Tilde,” Eggsy tried to interrupt, gently.

“No! Okay, no, we do this every time we argue, we just talk over each other and never resolve anything and god that is just like my parents, and I hated hearing them argue like that,” Tilde continued. “I didn’t mean for it to be what it was, I had never even thought of girls that way, I mean, I did, but it wasn’t that it wasn’t allowed, my father just said we didn’t have time for certain things and I needed a prince, and god I do still love you, in my own way, but just…not like that, not like I thought I did, and that’s on me-” 

“Tilde!” Eggsy tried again, not shouting, but just a bit louder. 

“NO!” 

“Yes!” Eggsy laughed. “Because we’re a fucking pair, I tell you what.” 

“What?”

He could see Tilde’s frown at that, the way her forehead creased just a bit whenever she was confused. Roxy had always said she thought that was cute, and she was right, it was, and now that comment made so much more sense.

“It’s fine,” he continued. “What you and Roxy are doing. I mean, in any other case, it wouldn’t have been, because yeah, it’s cheating, but…his name is Ainsley. I was supposed to be stealing the formula from him, but…god, I have so much to tell you, whatever Merlin will let me, at least. It’s been wild. But long story short, I…” 

“You’re doing the face,” Tilde said. “The same one you did on our first proper date, I know it. You’re falling for him.” 

“Think I’ve already fallen,” Eggsy chuckled. “Like a rock dropped in water.” 

There was a beat of silence, then Tilde laughed. 

“There’s something online, isn’t there, about useless gays who don’t see what’s right in front of them, some joke? That’s us, isn’t it?” 

He nodded. “I think it is. She makes you happy, doesn’t she? I can tell.” 

“My father isn’t pleased,” Tilde replied, and he could see her grin, could hear it in her voice. “But he loves her all the same, and he’s said he’s willing to defend having two princesses, rather than a prince and princess. I mean, that’s looking awful far in the future, I know. Probably shouldn’t rush into that again, even if this does feel right.” 

“I hear that,” Eggsy said. “But I can see why you’d want to. She’s a great girl.” 

“She really is,” Tilde murmured dreamily. 

Eggsy giggled. “You’re adorable, look at you! You’re head over heels!” 

“And you aren’t?” Tilde laughed. “I can hear it in your voice, I know if I got you talking about him now, you’d never stop. But I’d do the same about her, so I get it.” 

“So…this is the end? Of us as…prince and princess.” 

“Yeah,” Tilde said. “But as friends…I could never stop loving you that way, Eggsy. And I still expect you to show up for movie nights, when you aren’t away on work. It’s your turn to provide the snacks, and you should bring your other ‘snack’ as well. I want to meet him and see just how pretty he is.” 

Eggsy couldn’t help it, he cackled. This was how it had been at the start, easy and happy and bright. They’d rushed into everything else, and they never should have, but at least they could have this again. “I think I can manage that. He is awfully pretty though, I must warn you.” 

“I’ll bring sunglasses for when he dazzles us,” Tilde giggled. “You know, I was so worried about this call-” 

“Me too!” 

“Yes! And now I don’t know why I was. It feels like a weight is off of me,” Tilde sighed happily.

“Same,” Eggsy agreed. “I can’t wait to get home. All four of us, movie night, plan for it.” 

“It’s on the calendar,” Tilde replied. “And Eggsy-” 

“I want to thank you,” Eggsy interrupted. He had to say it, before the tears, a mix of happy and sad, rolled. “For what we had. For loving me like that for the time you did. For loving me as you do now. For still being here for me. I’m glad we can still make each other happy.” 

“I need to thank you for that too,” Tilde replied softly. “I didn’t see things ending up this way, and it’s bittersweet in a way, because I just…never saw myself divorcing anyone, ever, but life doesn’t follow blueprints like that, does it? But we’ve both found happiness, and we can be happy in that together as friends. I know you’ll always be here for me, and I’ll always be here for you.” 

He could hear her sniffles, and knew they should end the call before they were both an absolute mess. “Well, your welcome, and thank you. I love you, Tilde.” 

“I love you too, Eggsy,” Tilde said. “Now, I should probably let you go. Merlin said..well, he couldn’t tell me much, but he alluded to there being a whole mess of work for you to do. Stay safe, whatever it all is, okay? I’m counting on you coming back in one piece.” 

“I will. I promise.” 

The call ended, and he let himself sit for a moment in it. 

She was right, it was bittersweet, even though it was ultimately a good thing. But if he could have pulled aside his younger self and told him this was where he’d end up, he’d never have believed it, for one reason or another. And someday, he’d have to finally get a therapist like Merlin had been hounding him to do, and properly go through this and everything else in his life. Closure, Merlin told him, was more important than most people thought. Ending one chapter, for good or for bad, so another could be started healthily. 

And the rest of his story was waiting in the living room, on the couch, probably a little bit wine drunk. 

He dried his tears as best he could, though he knew his eyes were still a red and puffy mess, and went back out to the living room. 

“Ainsley, it went so much better than expected. She’s so happy with Roxy, and I’m so happy for her, I can’t even say, and she’s happy for us, and I ju-” 

He stopped dead, and popped the ear piece into his ear properly as he took in the living room. 

Blood strewn across the couch, both wine glasses and the bottle broken, spilled wine drying into a crust on the light green velvet couch, and Ainsley nowhere in sight. 

“Merlin, we have a problem,” Eggsy said sharply. 

“What? Tilde just texted me and said it’s all gone very well, and she’s thrilled for you. I know it must have still been difficult, these sorts of things always are, but-” 

“No, Merlin, he’s gone,” Eggsy found himself breathing hard as he tried to carefully survey the apparent crime scene. A note, left on the tray where the wine bottle had been sitting read simply _‘Hide and Seek time! Ready to play? -Barrett’_

“And I know who took him.” 

Merlin sighed. “I was afraid of this, but I thought we might have more time. You two really pissed him off today, apparently. This is a bold move, considering we haven’t even made our first yet. Stay put, I’m going to come to you, and then we’ll figure out our next move.” 

Eggsy frowned, and crawled along the floor, then stretched up to look to the ceiling. There, he found the thing he had been hoping he wouldn’t find. “Merlin, don’t come here. It’s bugged. I’ll meet you…I’ll call you, in a bit, to tell you where to meet me. I can’t say now; I don’t know who might be listening.” 

Merlin immediately ended the call, and he moved like a man on fire. 

He gathered his bag, making sure none of his things were left in the apartment, then pulled his Kingsman glasses from it. 

He used them to take pictures of the scene, everything, every bit of wine and glass, blood, and the note. And the painful lack of Ainsley. How had he not heard the apparent struggle, something? Sure, there was a decent amount of space between the bedroom and living room, and sure, he had the ear piece in his ear when he was talking Tilde, but-

No time for that. No time for panic, for fear, for tears or worrying. He had a job to do. 

He waited until he was well away from the apartment before calling Merlin again. “There’s a cafe I’m heading to. You should be able to track me, meet me there. I’m not saying more until I know that no one else is listening to us.” 

Merlin ended the call wordlessly, a sign that he would soon be on his way, and Eggsy tried to settle into the small cafe’s outdoor seating space. The cafe itself was closed, considering the time, but the outdoor area had been left open, apparently free to use. It would do, for now, until they could find a safer spot to meet at. Potentially, this could mean his and Evan’s apartments were bugged, and the club and Ainsley’s house near it certainly were as well. Who knew if anyone on the street was in on it as well? He hadn’t noticed anyone tailing him, but at the same time, he trusted no one who walked by. 

“Are you searching for something?” 

“Tony?” Eggsy asked. The shadows made it hard to make out the man in the distance, but it sure sounded like him.

Suddenly, the man bolted, and Eggsy gave chase. 

“Merlin, change of plans. Keep tracking me; I think I’ve got someone.” 

It was a harsh run, up and down narrow streets with occasional uneven paving, but at least he had left his Adidas in his work bag, just in case he might need them, because god did he ever now. Had he tried the run in platforms, he’d have two busted ankles and a broken nose from falling flat on his face, surely.

And the man wanted to tire him out, he could tell that, ducking and weaving and jumping over and around walls, through people’s small yards and through back alleys near the various shops they passed. But he wasn’t giving up now. Maybe Barrett had been right, he was an angry dog, but he was a well-trained one who wouldn’t let go of whatever he caught that he knew couldn’t be let to go free. 

Finally, they hit a dead end, and he crashed into the man, holding him against the brick wall. 

“Tony, what the fuck are you on about? Why did you run?” 

It was Tony, who looked as panicked as a rabbit caught by a hawk. 

“I-I can explain. Boniface, he asked me to follow you, to make sure you weren’t getting into any trouble, out here alone at night.” 

“Is that so? What was that comment then?” 

He bit back a gasp as cold metal pressed up against his stomach through the sweatshirt. 

“You couldn’t just leave well enough alone, could you?” Tony muttered. “Barrett thought something was fishy from the start, had never heard of the agency that had sent you. Of course, I couldn’t tell Boniface that, the stupid prick. Not like he’d listen to sense anyway. See what it’s gotten him? If you want to stay alive, you’ll be smarter than he is.” 

“You,” Eggsy breathed. “You’ve been reporting to Barrett before I even got here, got involved with all this. You bugged his apartment.” 

Tony shrugged. “I go where the money’s good. And bouncing at a strip club, even as head of security? Not great. But being the double agent for a man like Barrett? That pays much better.” 

“Is that all it ever was to you? Have you no loyalty at all?” 

“You didn’t listen to Barrett earlier, did you?” Tony scoffed. “Personal responsibility. I’m the only one who can make sure I’m doing well, and getting what I deserve from life. And unlike other people, I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty to do that.” 

“You’re a fucking sick bastard, just like Barrett,” Eggsy spat, and before Tony could react, he twisted away from Tony and wrenched his arm so the gun pointed out and up. 

Tony got a shot off before he could stop him, but it went only into the night sky. He struggled against Eggsy’s grip, but they were evenly matched. 

Until the cloth covered his mouth. 

He tried to fight it, to stay standing, but his vision faded, and he felt himself dropping to the ground. 

“Thank you. You didn’t do too much, did you? Barrett is going to want this one alive, after all. We’ve got to get him to Switzerland.”


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit, could sum up this chapter. Aka, Eggsy and crew are in a lot of it, and it’s going to take some doing to get out of it. Per the usual, really, but even so, easier said than done.
> 
> TW for general violence, and mentions of sexual violence and suicide by…well. I can’t say exactly what, or I’ll give away plot. But a warning for it, so if it isn’t something you’re comfortable reading about, I’d say give this one a skip!

He woke with a headache so painful he wanted to weep, and light-headed enough he feared he’d fall as Tony and another henchman half-led, half-dragged him into a clean white room.

“Look at that, he’s back,” Tony smirked. “Welcome back to the land of the living. You won’t be in it long, so enjoy what time you have left.” 

“Think you ought to be the one doing that,” Eggsy spat. 

Tony rolled his eyes, and motioned for the other henchman to follow him out of the room. 

He sat for a moment, trying to ignore the nausea roiling in his stomach, when there was a bang on the wall. 

“Hey!” Evan’s voice was just loud enough to be heard through the wall. “Are you okay?” 

“I will be, I think,” Eggsy mumbled. “Are you okay?” 

“As okay as I can be,” Evan muttered. “But I have no idea what they’re going to do to us, suddenly Barrett came thundering into the club with all these men while I was finishing cleaning up, and then-” 

“Chloroform?” 

“I figured,” Evan replied. “Why are they doing this?” 

“There’s a lot to explain,” Eggsy admitted. “That you should have known from the start. But first, I’m going to get us all out of here. Ainsley is here as well, right?” 

“Who?” Evan asked. 

“…shit,” Eggsy muttered. “Boniface. Is he here?” 

“He is,” Evan replied, but his tone belied his suspicion. “A pet name?” 

“Something like that,” Eggsy said. “I can tell you later, along with everything else. For now, I’m going to get us all out of here.” 

“How on earth are you plotting to do that from a cell?” 

“You let me worry about that,” Eggsy said. “Just try and rest, and I’ll be back for you as soon as I can be.” 

He sighed dramatically a few times, then pouted, and called out through the door. “Oh, please, I really don’t feel well. I think you hit me with too much.” 

He gagged, not entirely faking it, and moaned as miserably as he could manage. “Please, have mercy on me.” 

The door opened so fast he didn’t have a chance to back away from it. 

“God,” Tony grimaced. “Come on, Barrett wants you anyway. We’ll get you water, and some new clothes.” 

“Oh thank you,” Eggsy whimpered, but Tony only rolled his eyes. 

“Shut the fuck up, and come on.” 

Tony led him by the arm down a hall, just as disturbingly minimalist and clean and white, then down another until they reached a small room. 

The water Tony gave him seemed safe enough, and tasted a dream compared to the taste in his mouth. 

The clothing, however, he wanted to rip into shreds. 

A lacy white cut out body suit, just barely big enough in the right areas to cover him, and white plastic platforms. The robe that came with followed theme, white mesh with feathers all along the hems. 

“Hold still,” Tony barked after he’d dressed, and approached him with an eye shadow palette, a make up bag tucked under his arm. “Should just let you do this, but I don’t trust you not to try and kill me with this eyeliner or some shit.” 

Eggsy caught sight of himself in the mirror while Tony put away the make up, and winced. The make up job was too quick, but even care and time wouldn’t have saved the white eye shadow, highlighted with a baby blue that honestly didn’t seem to go with it, white eyeliner around his eyes, and an almost clear shimmery white-ish lip gloss. The clothing looked cheap, and made him feel it. 

“This way,” Tony grumbled, and again took him by the arm. “Wait.” 

He handed Eggsy a pair of elbow-length satin gloves. “These too.” 

Eggsy glared, but shoved them on, yanking his arm away from Tony as he led down yet another clinical-looking hallway, into another room. 

Inside, Barrett was lounged on a heart-shaped bed, with all black satin sheets. The rest of the room had been done up in similar fashion, and a stripper pole had been erected in the little bit of space before the windows of the room that allowed one to look down on what the scientists on the main floor of the lab were doing. 

“Nice Vegas aesthetic,” Eggsy sniffed. “Not what I’d choose for a negotiation room, but then again-” 

He turned around once. “Look how you dressed me for it.”

Barrett snickered. “You think I’m negotiating? Oh, that’s adorable.” 

He looked to Tony, still stood in the doorway, and waved him away.

“No, you’re going to be with me while we start the end,” Barrett said. “I’ve already figured plenty of ways I could use the formula, and would you believe how willing people are to think up even more if you dangle millions of dollars in their face, and swear you’ll ensure the weapon doesn’t kill them?” 

“That isn’t true though, is it?” Eggsy asked, walking to the windows and peering down at the scientists, scurrying about the lab floor. “You don’t care who it kills, as long as it isn’t you.” 

Barrett giggled sickeningly. “I love them when they’re just the littlest bit naive and stupid, you know? Why I loved your Bo-oh, I suppose he’s told you by now, hasn’t he? Your Ainsley, I should say. He would fall for anything so long as you promised him it wouldn’t hurt anyone.” 

Barrett stood up from the bed, and joined him at the window, yanking Eggsy so he was facing him, running his hands over Eggsy’s body, toying with the edges of the body suit. “I hope it does kill me. I don’t really care if it does, frankly. I’m bored. That’s why I’m doing this, after all.” 

“You’re joking,” Eggsy said, resisting the urge to jerk away from Barrett’s touch. 

“I am not. I’ve seen this world. It’s cruel and harsh and scary, and people are scum.” 

“You’d know something about that,” Eggsy spat.

In a flash, Barrett’s hand was around his throat, squeezing tight. “Say whatever you like, it doesn’t change what’s going to happen. We’re all going to die tonight, all of us here, including your little agent friends that I’m sure are on the way, along with millions of people worldwide. And in particular, you’re going to die with my cock buried so far up your arse that you’re choking on it.” 

“I don’t fucking think so,” Eggsy muttered as best he good as he fought for air.

“Like I said,” Barrett said, releasing his throat and letting him drop to the floor. “Say whatever you like, it makes no difference. I always get my way, one way or another.” 

He settled back on the bed, and pointed to the pole. “Go on. Make yourself useful. There’s still some time before my chosen weapon is ready; I want to be entertained until then.” 

Eggsy glowered at him, but stood back up slowly, then stomped over to the pole. 

Barrett grabbed a remote from the end table near the bed, and clicked a button on it. The strains of Marilyn Manson’s ‘The Reflecting God’ started to play, and Barrett nodded. 

Eggsy reached for the pole, going into a sloppy sort of dance, his mind too busy working overtime to figure out the checklist of what he had to do, and how he could do it.

To do: kill Barrett, disable and destroy the weapon, find and destroy all research and paperwork regarding the formula (including frying any electronics that contained research information), kill Tony, rescue Evan, then find and rescue Ainsley. 

Easy enough, if he wouldn’t be on his own. But he had no idea where any of the other agents might be, or if they had even figured out where he was. Sure, Merlin could track him, but it would still take some time to get out to him. 

Until then, he couldn’t let the worst happen. 

‘Man That You Fear’ followed on the playlist, and he tried to let his dancing reflect it. Slower, softer, making as much eye contact with Barrett as he could. There was nothing human there to reach, that much he knew, but there was a bit of an animal in everyone. In this case, all animal, and he could appeal to that. 

He dropped to his knees, and crawled over to the bed as sexily as he could manage even as his head still swam with the aftereffects of the chloroform. “If we’re going to die, you can tell me more about you then, surely.” 

Barrett scoffed. “Shut up and take your clothes off. I know what you’re trying to do.” 

Eggsy tossed off the robe, and stretched his arms out, flexing just a bit as he did. “Maybe. But what can it hurt? Like you said, I can’t stop what you’re doing now.” 

Barrett shrugged. “True. What are you so eager to know?” 

“How you got into this,” Eggsy said as he turned and dropped back on the bed, kicking his legs up in a quick stretch, trying to appear as though he was lounging erotically against the bed rather than trying not to slip off the edge of the satin sheets. “You were so eager for me to know about Ainsley and his past. What of yours?” 

Barrett grinned, and crooked a finger, motioning him up the bed.

He took a quick breath as he undid the platforms, then crawled his way up sheets to lay by Barrett.

Barrett’s kiss was harsh, breath-taking in the same way one might drown, and it left him wanting to cough and to wipe at his mouth, but he resisted the urge. The more he could make Barrett believe he wanted this, the better. 

“How I got into this?” Barrett said after he finally released Eggsy. “I bet you’re expecting some sob story, some long tale?” 

His smile was hollow and predatory, not even beginning to reach his eyes. It made Eggsy feel sick to his stomach. 

“Well, learn to love disappointment. I knew that what I wanted wasn’t often found in polite circles, so I found it wherever I could. And I’ve loved every minute of it, relished every second. They say pain and trauma linger, you know? And they usually mean it in regards to survivors, but they should talk about how it lingers for the one behind it all,” Barrett’s voice slithered soft, his breathe warm on Eggsy’s neck. “How sweet a taste it is for someone like me. How the memories stay so vibrant.” 

Everything in him was screaming to just do whatever he could to take down Barrett and run, as fast as he could. 

But he couldn’t, not just yet. He needed some sign there was back-up, or it would be for nothing. 

As Barrett’s hand crept down his chest, under the lace, down his stomach, nearly to his hip, when he saw it.

Just barely visible from the angle he was at on the bed, Agent Tequila bursting into the lab. The shots from his shotgun rang out, and the horrible spell was broken. 

Barrett jerked away from him, but only for a second, his face twisted into an angry grimace. 

“You fucking filthy whore,” Barrett screamed, rolling over to straddle him, hands again around Eggsy’s neck. “You want it to end like this? Hm? I could have made it easier for you, given you just a touch of pain. I could have been kind!” 

Eggsy writhed beneath him, working to break free, but Barrett was stronger than he looked, his nails digging into Eggsy’s neck with every slight movement. The playlist had shifted to something slightly more energetic, and he tried to focus on it as he fought back. 

Finally, he managed to wrench Barrett’s hands off of his neck, and kicked him away as hard as he could manage. A quick rustle through the end table revealed a pistol with an ivory grip, thankfully already loaded. He pointed it in Barrett’s direction, only to find him still struggling to get up off of the floor. 

He crawled as quickly as he could out of the bed and raced to the door, shoving it open, ready to take on Tony.

Who was dead on the floor, another cyanide pill still in his hand. 

“Fucking coward,” Eggsy spat, and shut the door behind him, shoving Tony’s corpse in front of it, ignoring Barrett’s shouting and swearing. It wouldn’t hold him forever, but it might give him just enough time to catch up with the rest of the agents and formulate something. 

He crept down the halls, figuring there would be more henchman to run into. But all that met him were their corpses, none of them apparently eager to go out via Barrett’s chemical weapon. 

It made finding Tequila easy. He was still on the main lab floor, raising his shotgun whenever a scientist so much as twitched towards the weapon, apparently nearly finished. 

“That our new uniform? I can try it, I won’t say no, but I don’t know if that’s really my color, or yours for that matter,” Tequila said as he burst into the lab. 

“A nice blue on you, maybe?” Eggsy smiled. 

Tequila nodded. “I could see that.” 

“You alone?” 

Tequila shook his head. “Galahad is supposed to be finding your man, and Roxy is on the back end helping Merlin keep track of us, and to see what they can do on their end to burn some of the information on the formula, and now these weapon plans.” 

“Any news on their progress?” Eggsy said as he looked over the weapon. It seemed harmless where it was; it looked as though it would need to be shot off into the atmosphere in order to do anything to anyone. 

“Sounds good so far, from what Roxy’s been chattering about in my ear,” Tequila replied. “Also, she wants me to tell you she thinks that oughta be your permanent uniform. Frankly, I agree, you pull it off, even if one of your balls is definitely about to fall out.” 

Eggsy laughed and shook his head. “We can talk about that later; you two hang onto that proposal.” 

“Don’t gotta tell me twice,” Tequila chuckled. “Where you going now? We’ve almost got this under control. Soon as Galahad checks in to say he’s got your man and anyone else that’s captive-” 

The lab door swung open with a bang against the interior lab wall, and Barrett strode in, leading a stumbling Ainsley with one hand, and nearly dragging Evan with the other. 

“Shit,” they muttered in unison, Tequila turning his weapon on Barrett. 

The scientists started to scrabble for the door, but stopped as Barrett roared. 

“NO ONE GOES ANYWHERE!” his face was red, his breath short as he tossed Evan to the floor. 

Eggsy started to go to him, but Barrett spat at him. “Don’t bother. He’ll be dead soon. That formula doesn’t require a weapon to be used when it’s in liquid form. I don’t know the dose I gave him or how it will affect him, but I know he’ll be dead, and that’s what matters.”

Evan muttered something weakly, and waved Eggsy away. 

As hard as it was to step back, he did, training his gun on Barrett. “Let them go.” 

Barrett smiled wide. “No. I’m not going to do that. No, since you ruined my original game, we’re going to play another. After all, I’m still bored.” 

Barrett downed a small vial in the hand not holding onto Ainsley, shook his head, and grimaced. “Not exactly bubble gum flavored.” 

“You fucker,” Eggsy murmured. “You just killed yourself.” 

Barrett shrugged. “Give or take a few minutes to maybe an hour. I don’t know how this formula works, I pay these assholes to know that.” 

A few of the scientists looked towards them at that, but shuddered and huddled down again as Barrett gave another wordless roar.

“Now. In the amount of time I have left, we’re going to play a game. If you win, you get your precious slut here, safe and sound, though why you’d want him I simply cannot fathom. If you lose-” 

Barrett held up another small vial. “Bye bye pretty boy.” 

Eggsy looked to Tequila, who tilted his head just barely to the windows of the bedroom above and across from them. 

There was Harry, sniper rifle in hand, trained on Barrett. 

He tried to ask Tequila with his eyes what possible good that would do. The time frame in which Harry would be able to get a shot off and not hit anyone else would be minute, minuscule. And until he could be sure he had it-

That was it. He once again, had to stall Barrett.

Before he could say a word, Ainsley cleared his throat. 

“Eggsy, don’t worry about it. Just make sure the weapon can’t go out.” 

“The fuck are you on about,” Eggsy replied. “I’m not letting him kill you.” 

Ainsley smiled. “I love you too. But I’m not that important. There are thousands like me out there. I was just lucky, or maybe stupid enough, to end up where I am. If you save the world now, you save a bunch of kids just like me, who aren’t at any point like this yet. You give them a chance to live, and to make it to a better situation. You could even start the Home without me. Put it in my name.”

“Can’t do that,” Eggsy said softly. “I’m going to have to save you too. I’m too stubborn to let anything else happen.” 

“God, shut the fuck up!” Barrett’s yell echoed around the room. “Making fucking lovey-dovey stupid eyes at each other, now?! Of all times?! Christ, I’d hate to see how the two of you act at a funeral.” 

His gaze turned happy, and his eyes glittered as he lifted his other hand. “Oh right. He won’t be able to do much of anything, it being his funeral and all.” 

It all happened in a flash: the flash of Barrett’s hand as it moved towards Ainsley’s mouth, the flash of the bullet as it left the sniper rifle in Harry’s hands, and the flash of the weapon near them as something on it popped and sparked and lit on fire, and they all hit the floor in a resounding thud.

Through the smoke, Eggsy found Barrett first, with a pool of blood quickly growing around his head. Beside him, Ainsley.

“I’m alright,” he coughed. “Help me get Evan.” 

“I got him!” Tequila shouted, and through the darkening smoke Eggsy could make out the outline of Evan on Tequila’s shoulders. “We gotta go, now! No idea what’ll happen with that thing now.” 

“We can’t just go!” Eggsy yelled back. “What if it spreads it through the smoke, or something?” 

A scientist on the floor shook her head. “It won’t! We sabotaged it so it shouldn’t hurt anyone as it burns up. But the fire, on the other hand..” 

Ainsley’s hand was warm in his. “We’ve got to go. What happens to it all here-” 

He looked around the lab, what little could be seen as the flames started to spread around them. “We were going to destroy this place, anyway, right?” 

Eggsy nodded. 

“What are you two waiting for?,” Harry’s voice had joined them, his shape just visible near the door. “Get moving!” 

They let the scientists out first, and Eggsy breathed a sigh of relief at knowing they were as decent as he’d been hoping, and had done their part to make sure Barrett didn’t succeed. Creating the formula to begin with wasn’t great of course, but at least they’d managed to help destroy it as well. 

“What about an antidote?” Tequila asked, gesturing to the unsettlingly still form of Evan as they started down the halls. 

The same scientist as before, the hood of her PPE suit now pulled down and safety goggles tossed away to reveal auburn hair and light brown eyes, held up a small white first aid kit box. “Got everything we need in here. We just need to get somewhere safe and I can administer it.” 

“You ever had to use it before?” Tequila asked as they started to run now, the heat from the flames encroaching on them too quickly. 

She looked ready to respond, but instead pointed to the exit door, so close yet so far away. 

He felt the incredible heat somehow grow even hotter as they reached the door, then the horrible impact of the blast wave. 

Then nothing.


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carrying over my summary from my Tumblr post of this chapter: And we arrive at the end! And our epilogue as well. The writing of this one went way faster than I ever thought it would (after laboring over the first part of the first chapter for weeks) but it’s been an incredibly fun ride that has made me all the more excited to write more Kingsman fic!

The snow was cold against his skin as his eyes fluttered open. 

It was a harsh scene to wake up to. Ainsley was beside him, cradling his head in his hands. A few feet away, Tequila was with the female scientist, looking over Evan’s still unmoving body. 

“He should be coming around,” Eggsy heard her say. 

Harry helped him sit up. “Just rest for a moment, the blast knocked us all-” 

“Why isn’t he coming back round?” Eggsy asked as he crawled towards them through the snow. “What’s wrong, what do we need?”

She sighed frustratedly. “I don’t know. This should be working, I-” 

“What’s your name?” Tequila interrupted. 

“Janice,” she replied with a frown and look of confusion to Eggsy.

“Janice,” Tequila said. “Pleased to meet you. Tell you what. I’m gonna start CPR, and you’re going to keep figuring out what else you can do for your friend. Meanwhile, I bet Harry can see if the helicopter can land closer to us?” 

“Of course,” Harry said, and took off through the snow, into the distance to wherever they’d presumably found a safe spot to land. 

“And then we can get this sweetheart to a hospital that can do more than I can,” Tequila continued, wincing with the first few compressions that Eggsy knew would be breaking ribs. But the extra pressure seemed necessary, as Evan continued to lay on the snow, nearly as pale as it. 

Janice continued to fuss with the kit, but she caught Eggsy’s eye, and her meaning required no words: if Evan didn’t come around soon, he wasn’t coming back at all. And there would be nothing that anyone could do about it. 

The coldness around them faded as he sat, holding tight to Ainsley’s hand, watching as Tequila worked. 

“Let me take over,” he volunteered as he saw Tequila’s shoulders slowing with the next set of compressions. 

Before he could position himself over Evan, there was just the slightest movement.

They all exchanged tentative glances, then cautious smiles as Evan coughed hard, turning to vomit into the snow. 

“Welcome back,” Tequila said softly. “Not too fast now. We’ve got help on the way. Get you to a doctor and get you feeling better.” 

Evan turned, wiped at his mouth, and studied Tequila. “You work with Wyn on whatever all this is, I take it?” 

“You mean Eggsy?” Tequila said, then winced. “Ah. Cover not broken yet. My bad.” 

“Hadn’t gotten a chance to tell him,” Eggsy replied. “It’s alright, I can explain on the way to the hospital.” 

“Oh you most certainly will be,” Evan said, but his eyes didn’t leave Tequila. “And I want to hear more about you as well. Man who saved my life.” 

“Only in part,” Tequila blushed. “You owe more thanks to Janice here.” 

“Thank you,” Evan told her. 

“It’s the least I could do,” she replied. “Considering I helped discover the thing that nearly killed you.” 

“It all evens out, doesn’t it?” Evan smiled. “Oh, bit dizzy. And cold, very cold…” 

Eggsy shot Tequila a look, but Tequila was already ahead of him, shrugging off his coat and carefully wrapping it around Evan as he picked him up. 

“That help some?” 

“I think it does, so long as you stay nearby to keep heating me up,” Evan’s giggle was weak, but it was a beautiful sound to hear. 

Just as wonderful was the sound of the helicopter slowly and carefully setting down near them, Harry already half out of it before it fully touched down. 

“Come on,” he fussed with a set of blankets, wrapping one around Ainsley and the other around Eggsy. “You’ll catch your death out here, especially in that.” 

“They never got this wild at the swinger’s club, I take it?” Eggsy asked with a smirk.

Harry’s worried look dropped, replaced by a soft smile. “You still want to hear all those stories?” 

“Got to be a proper story exchange, doesn’t it? I know you were getting intel on this, but it’s more fun hearing it from the horse’s mouth. So, I tell you all about this, and you tell me all about your legendary mission at the swinger’s club.” 

Harry’s arm was warm around him as they settled onto one side of the helicopter’s seating. It was a welcome reassurance, after the last bullet fast few days. It had all gone by so quickly, he could barely begin to go over it all in his head. 

He would have to later, of course. In talking to Harry, in typing up reports to keep on file in their well-encrypted records. There would be the status of the club to figure out, not to mention the rest of Ainsley’s properties in Ibiza. The divorce with Tilde; ensuring Evan would be alright even after being treated for the aftereffects of the formula; going back out to clean up the remnants of the lab in Switzerland that were smoldering now-it all left his head spinning.

For now, sitting with Harry to one side of him, Ainsley the other, watching Janice joke with Tequila as they both fussed quietly over a pale but smiling Evan, was enough to take in. 

He rested his head against Ainsley’s shoulder, and smiled at the feeling of Ainsley’s lips pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

There was nothing quite like a job well done, and a world saved once again. 

——-

_Epilogue-6 months later_

The walk to Hyde Park from the Kingsman shop wasn’t a long one, but it was long enough to make him take off his suit jacket, wrapping it over his free arm, then slipping his hand back into Ainsley’s. 

Ainsley wore his own Kingsman suit and glasses now, and was officially an agent as of the last month. 

“I want to work for the funding for the Home,” he’d told Eggsy. “It feels right.” 

“Sure you aren’t just addicted to the adrenaline of it, like I am?” 

Ainsley had shrugged. “I might be. But that just makes us a pair, doesn’t it?” 

It certainly did, as far as Eggsy was concerned. Speaking of things official, they were officially an item, moved in to a small house together not horribly far from the Kingsman shop. Dinners with Harry and Merlin, Tilde and Roxy, Evan and Tequila, and Janice (another new agent, though she was now among the ranks of Roxy and Merlin working behind the scenes) were a regular calendar item, every Saturday that there wasn’t a mission or some other obligation, held at their home. 

This picnic, arranged by Tilde and Roxy, was a different version of it, he supposed. But they’d been incredibly insistent upon it, and none of them could turn down a day of resting under the sun with good food and good friends. 

Tilde in particular was excited as they walked up to the space of grass that their group had taken over, and pulled them aside before they could make it to everyone else. 

“Tell me if you don’t think she’ll like it,” she said softly. “I mean, I’m sure she will, she loved it in the shop back in Sweden, even before I went and had it customized, but-” 

The ring she held out in a blue velvet ring box was simple, but pretty, silver with a vine engraved in it that ended in a calligraphic T and R. 

“You’re proposing? What happened to not rushing?” Eggsy joked. It had been evident ever since they’d gotten back and settled that Roxy and Tilde simply clicked, in a way that even he hadn’t with Tilde. Two pieces from the same puzzle, that even when they argued still ended up at the same feelings and/or choice. “I’ve lost a bet now, you know. I gave it at least another month before one of you would propose.” 

“I’ll make it up to you with good cake at the wedding,” Tilde laughed. “She’ll like it?” 

“She’s going to love it,” Ainsley said. “Are you…now? Or-” 

“In a bit,” Tilde cut him off, hiding the box in her jacket pocket as Roxy trotted over to them. 

“Hello boys,” Roxy chirped. “She busy regaling you with how I nearly ruined the cake we made?” 

“Technically we both almost ruined it,” Tilde said. “Got a bit distracted while it was baking…” 

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Eggsy snickered. “Long as it isn’t completely burnt.” 

“Define completely,” Roxy replied. 

“…Cake can’t really ever be bad,” Ainsley interjected. “Shall we?” 

“You go on,” Roxy motioned for Tilde to go back. “Just want to bother the boys with some work things. Boring spy business.” 

“As if it’s ever boring,” Tilde shook her head, and made her way back to the rest of the group.

“Okay, quickly,” Roxy said, and pulled a small red velvet box from her suit jacket pocket. “I hope it isn’t too much. I wanted something she could show off, you know? She can wear the big jewels, I can’t, not if I should get called in for fieldwork.” 

She opened the box to reveal a decently sized ruby, on a silver band engraved with what looked like rose stems, complete with the occasional thorn. 

“For one of the first flowers I bought her,” Roxy blushed. “She really likes roses, but you know that, Eggsy.” 

“She does, and she’ll love this,” Eggsy said. “So you’re-” 

“Yeah,” Roxy interrupted excitedly. “Soon as I can, without keeping everyone from the food of course. I know we’re all hungry, but I can hardly wait!” 

Eggsy shared a covert glance with Ainsley. “Well, I’m sure whenever you go for it, it’ll be fine. After all, it’s good news!” 

Roxy nodded, then quickly shut the box and tucked it back into her pocket. “She might start to wonder if we’re over here any longer, so come on.” 

She led them the last few feet to the picnic site, and from there it was unbearable.

“Which one first, do you think?” Ainsley whispered as they tucked into the frankly ridiculously huge spread that, if Eggsy had to guess, had mostly prepared by the chefs at the palace, aside from the cake of course. 

“I’ve no idea. Honestly, I could see them both going at the same time.” 

“Me too,” Harry was beside them suddenly, fidgeting with his tie to keep it away from potato salad on his plate. “Merlin insists it’ll be Roxy first though.” 

“I could see that,” Ainsley murmured. “God, this is killing. One of them needs to just go!” 

It became apparent that they’d taken turns asking each attendee of the picnic about the rings, as everyone they spoke to had an opinion on who would try and propose first (Janice had her money on Tilde, Evan on Roxy, and Tequila was another for both of them at the same time.) 

Finally, Tilde got down one one knee…

And pulled the cake container delicately from the over-sized picnic basket. “It probably isn’t terrible. We were sort of too scared to taste it, but we know the frosting is good.” 

“Oh come on,” Eggsy heard Merlin mumble. 

“You know what else is good?” Tilde asked, and he was sure everyone was holding their breath.

“No?” Roxy asked, her head cocked ever so slightly to the side. 

“Um. Marriage. Us, I mean, marrying, like we’ve talked about,” Tilde stumbled over the words, then shook her head as she freed the ring box from her pocket and opened it to Roxy. “You know what I’m asking, right?” 

Roxy smiled, and fumbled to pull the ring box from her pocket, and finally everyone breathed again.

“I called it!” Janice crowed. “Good on you Tilde, and congratulations ladies!” 

“It is a yes, isn’t it?” Tequila teased.

Roxy nodded, and Eggsy could see the happy tears streaming down her and Tilde’s faces. 

“A wedding in another six months or a year then,” Ainsley said. “Did you ever think you’d see that, after everything that’s happened?” 

He pondered the ring hidden away in a drawer of their shared dresser at home, and nodded. “Oddly enough, yeah. I definitely saw it for these two, and who knows who else.” 

Ainsley gave him a knowing look, but only squeezed his hand. 

After all, they had time now. To dedicate to each other, and whatever else might come their way (and with Kingsman, who knew what that might be.) 

And he couldn’t wait for it all, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.


End file.
